Laura on Life

Who's Afraid of Edward Albee?

2010-04-14T18:41:00.000-07:00

Here is the article that began a small internet war. If you Google "Laura Parker" + "Edward Albee" you'll see what I mean.

Originally published in The Economist's More Intelligent Life, here.

In the 50 or so years that he has been writing plays, Edward Albee has
remained unchanged as both man and playwright. This, at least, is what he said in a rare public interview at the Sydney Theatre Company earlier this year. The talk was hosted by Jonathan Biggins, an Australian theatre personality, who spent two hours asking Albee questions in front of a live audience. Having never heard the great playwright speak before, I was eager for this rare glimpse at his genius mind. What I got instead was the sense that Edward Albee is an old fogey.

According to Albee, the problem is that the world of theatre has changed in ways he disapproves of. He is especially irked by the increasing importance of a director’s vision, which is now understood to be just as valuable as what is being directed. In interviews and public speeches, Albee has been vocal about his distaste for those who neglect his strict stage directions. In his eyes, directors who foist their own vision on a production are nothing but "interpretive types that think they know our work better than we do".

Albee’s formative years were bittersweet: adopted by a very rich family who owned and managed a chain of Vaudeville theatres, he was treated to the best education that money could buy (not to mention free trips to the theatre). But he hated his adopted parents, who were racist, anti-Semitic and, worst of all (to his mind), Republicans. So he up and left New York's suburbs for the city when he was 18, and began his education in the "serious" arts, as he called them.

Literature, art, theatre and music filled his eyes and ears until one day he found himself writing his first play, "The Zoo Story" (1958), in three weeks when he was 30. Although it was rejected by producers in New York, it was successful in convincing Albee that playwriting was what he wanted to do. And there’s no denying that he has done it well. His works are biting satires of modern life and the family unit, which lay bare the tribulations of social disparity and the negative effects of an ever-changing commercial world. All in all, an heroic contribution to theatre.

During his early years Albee (pictured right in 1987) was greatly inspired by Samuel Beckett, whom he continues to revere. Albee's affinity for Beckett goes beyond their similarly dark preoccupations with the human condition. Beckett also took a hardline view of adaptations of his works. He was notoriously meticulous in his stage directions, supervising rehearsals of his plays whenever he could. He would often sideline directors to tell actors their intonations were wrong, or they were not moving the way they should, or the lights were too bright, or not bright enough. He even tried to close down one or two productions when he felt his work was being misrepresented.

Following Beckett’s death, the playwright’s licenses and rights to perform his plays fell into the hands of his nephew, Edward Beckett, who has maintained an iron-grip on his uncle’s work. He is known for refusing to grant licenses for productions that do not strictly adhere to Beckett’s stage directions.

Albee is almost certainly plotting something similar for his own legacy. He has been a vocal critic of productions that take too many liberties with his plays, such as a 2007 production of "Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"(1961-62) at Sydney’s Belvoir Street Theatre. Staged by Benedict Andrews, a young and audacious director, this version was both terrifying and brilliant. It stripped away Albee’s stage directions and set requirements, and featured a much younger cast than the script calls for. The result was pure, alcohol-fuelled psychosexual warfare, played out on a stark and sleek stage surrounded by a glass cage. It made for a perfect example of how a director’s vision can breathe new life into an old work.

Albee didn’t see it that way. He denounced Andrews’s production, comparing such changes to musicians who tell the conductor they’re improving the piece by playing it differently. “I see and hear my play on stage in my mind when I write it,” Albee told Biggins. “I expect people to perform it that way.” He then recounted a sour experience witnessing a Bulgarian production of "Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" that ran without any intervals ("Bulgarians don’t like intervals," Albee explained). Large chunks of the play were cut. Albee was outraged.

Yet on the topic of stage adaptations of Shakespeare’s works, Albee suggested that a few of the Bard’s plays could do with a trim. “We have to accept that not all Shakespeare plays are as good as others. We all know that 'Hamlet' should end with Hamlet’s death. There’s no point or need for any of that other stuff afterwards. All productions of 'Hamlet' should end with his death, but for some reason they don’t.”

The problem is not only that Albee is selective with his dismay, but that his views are so dazzlingly out of date. Theatre is an ever-growing, ever-changing medium. No progress could ever be made if everyone stuck to the rules. To interpret a work from a single point of view (that of the person who created it) is to impose an unreasonable limit on that work. Meaning doesn’t lie with the creator, but with each reader, each observer. In theatre the roles of directors and actors are increasingly important, not just for the growth of theatre but for fresh takes on old works. Albee’s wishes for ceaseless loyalty are not only difficult to implement (how can a theatre company know exactly what was intended?), but disrespectful to those directors and actors who are driving innovation in theatre.

Biggins suggested these views to Albee, but the playwright was not interested. Instead he grew increasingly rude, occasionally cutting Biggins off or ignoring a question altogether. When Albee was asked what he thought of the enduring success of "Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?", the playwright's best-known play, he responded that he hates it when people ask him what his plays are about. Instead, he chose to end the discussion by stating that, like all his plays, the Virginia Woolf characters were drawn from real life and did not require too much scrutiny. “It’s just a play about university professors and their wives.”

Perhaps the same can be said for Albee. Despite his enduring impact as a playwright, it seems best not to scrutinise him too closely.

And then there was this:

ON SECOND THOUGHT ...

Earlier this month I wrote a piece about Edward Albee, a revolutionary American playwright. It got quite a response from readers. Some swore at me; some calmly pointed out that I must be out of my mind to write such things about such a great man. I laughed it off. After all, what is the value of an opinion piece if it doesn’t inspire heated discussion and the occasional angry rant sprinkled with profanity?

The trouble is that something terrible has happened since I wrote that piece. One of the main criticisms I lobbed Albee’s way was that he was too protective of his work. He wouldn’t let a director touch his plays unless he knew for certain that his original vision would not be distorted in any way. Fair enough, some might say. But where did that leave the role of the director in the creative process?

What is terrible is that I now know how Albee feels. A short time after this piece was written I found myself in the throes of a creative battle. There I was, terrified and alone, clutching my newly written work in my hands. And there he was, The Director, somewhat inexperienced and altogether too cocky, eager to rip my play to shreds with his “creative vision”.

“This is my first time,” I cooed. “I don’t know anything about writing for the theatre. Please be gentle.”

“There’s nothing to fear,” he said. “But when your play is performed, all the female parts will be played by men in drag.”

I cried for days. Is this what it’s like for new playwrights? Or am I just being stubborn and inexperienced? Shouldn’t I trust my director and his interpretation?

No, screw it. I’m fighting this.

Some photos

2009-02-10T17:03:00.000-08:00

South Australian Attorney General speaks out on R18+

2009-02-10T16:58:00.001-08:00

The South Australian Attorney General, Michael Atkinson, wrote this article exclusively for GameSpot AU, a few months after I requested an interview with him.

Original here.

South Australian attorney general says he is not the only classification minister to oppose R18+ classification; lauds current system's ability to "encourage modification."

For many Aussie gamers, Michael Atkinson is a deeply unpopular character. The South Australian attorney general has been a vocal critic of game violence, and he has blocked previous moves to introduce an R18+ classification for games down under. Without an R18+ classification, the highest game rating is MA 15+, which means that the Classification Board is forced to ban any game that doesn't meet that rating's standards. Australia's Standing Committee of Attorneys General (SCAG)--a board made up of all state, territory, and federal AGs--has the power to change this, but only if all members agree. Atkinson has been the most public voice of dissent among the group.

Last year, GameSpot AU contacted Atkinson to gauge his views on Australian game classification. We sent through a long list of questions (his office preferred a written interview) in an attempt to explore his side of the argument. Atkinson's written response (which we received only late last week) did not directly answer our questions, but instead outlined his overall rationale for opposing the introduction of an R18+ rating in Australia. And in a key revelation, Atkinson says that he is not the only classification minister to oppose the introduction of an R18+ rating. A spokesperson for Atkinson said that the minister has been asked by a number of other classification ministers, whom he refuses to name, to be the spokesperson in this matter. GameSpot AU has contacted all state, territory, and federal attorneys general to get their individual positions, but had not received full clarification as of time of publication.

GameSpot AU will also continue to chase Mr. Atkinson for further clarification of his position, but in the meantime, his response to our original list of questions can be read below.

South Australian Attorney General Michael Atkinson:

"I don't support the introduction of an R18+ rating for electronic games, chiefly because it will greatly increase the risk of children and vulnerable adults being exposed to damaging images and messages.

"The interactive nature of electronic games means that they have a much greater influence than viewing a movie does. People are participating and 'acting-out' violence and criminal behaviour when they are playing a video game. They are essentially rehearsing harmful behaviour. Children and vulnerable adults (such as those with a mental illness) can be harmed by playing video games with violence, sex, and criminal activity.

"The South Australian government takes a strong position on protecting children (and the public) from criminal behaviour, sexual abuse, and drug use. My stance on R18+ classification is in line with the policies of the Rann Government [current South Australian government] to protect children.

"Retaining the present classification scheme for electronic games is necessary because: it keeps the most extreme material off the shelves; it prevents children and vulnerable adults from being exposed to sexual abuse, criminal activity, and extreme violence in video games; it prevents children and vulnerable adults from virtual participation in sex, criminal activity, and extreme violence; and it results in game developers modifying their product for Australian and sometimes international audiences.

"I have three sons who regularly play computer games at home--the eldest is now 22. I see my children become physically and emotionally obsessed with games, and it is difficult to drag them away from the gaming console. The repeated act of killing a computer-generated person or creature desensitises children to violence. It makes violence part of their everyday lives and what is especially concerning is that it is their re-creation. A child being able to watch sex and violence in a movie is damaging to the child, but the child participating in sex and violence in a computer game is worse.

"Extreme violence, perverted sex, and criminal activity are not essential for adults to enjoy playing electronic games. There are plenty of sophisticated games that are of interest to adults. A game is not necessarily more interesting to an adult simply because it contains extreme violence, explicit sexual material, criminal activity, or offensive language. Some of the most popular and highly recommended games for adults would not be R18+ rated.

"Critics sometimes claim that I am ruining the game-development industry. There are very few computer games that are refused classification each year. In 2007/8 just three computer games were refused classification (Soldier of Fortune: Payback, Dark Sector, and Shellshock 2: Blood Trails). This represents a very small proportion of the 961 decisions made last financial year. In fact, only 55 were classified at the top existing rating of MA15+.

"Last year the makers of Grand Theft Auto IV altered the game before submitting it for an MA15+ classification, and Silent Hill: Homecoming is under revision by its makers after being knocked back by the Classification Board. The lack of an R18+ classification is not preventing very many adult-themed video games reaching the shop shelves--but it is ensuring that scenes that don't comply with a MA15+ rating are removed. I think that's a great result for consumers and has little impact on the profitability of game developers.

"Some games, such as Grand Theft Auto IV, have been modified to meet Australian standards. The present system encourages game developers to consider what is appropriate for an MA15+ rating and adjust their product accordingly. Sometimes this modified version has become the internationally distributed version.

"Some of your readers may believe that the present system restricts adult liberty. It certainly does restrict choice to a small degree, but that is the price of keeping this material from children and vulnerable adults. In my view, the small sacrifice is worth it. Classification exists for advertising, films, and books for the same reason--to protect children and vulnerable people.

"In cinemas, the age of moviegoers can be regulated, and at the video store people must provide ID to hire R18+ videos. Once electronic games are in the home, access to them cannot be policed and the games are easily accessible to children. These days, older children (18-30) are often living in the family home with younger children (under 18). This means games belonging to older children or parents can easily make their way into the hands of those under 18.

"I'm concerned about the level of violence in society and the widespread acceptance of simulated violence as a form of entertainment. No doubt a legal restraint on the type of material available to the public in game form is only a small part of the answer, but I am loath to give it up.

"I am not alone in my view. Groups such as Young Media Australia oppose the introduction of an R18+ classification, saying that interactive violence can desensitise people to violence. Although I receive letters from the public opposing my stance on R18+ games, I also get letters of support. Some other classification ministers are also opposed to an R18+ classification but have not spoken about it publicly. I'm confident the proposal would be blocked by other classification ministers if I weren't using my veto power.

"The framework for our classification system is established in Commonwealth legislation. The process of classifying a work is done by the Office of Film and Literature Classification [sic*]--a federal government body. Films and games are classified according to the same guidelines and using the same categories and symbols under the classification codes. Games that are entertaining and challenging to adults may be found in any classification category. The classification goes simply to the strength or impact of the content. In classifying a game, only the classifiable elements are considered: violence, sex, nudity, drug use, coarse language, and (controversial) themes.

"In Australia there is merit in a national classification scheme. With state and territory borders being artificial for these purposes, once games classified R18+ are available in one state they will be readily available in others. It is important not to confuse the classification rating of a game with the game's sophistication, or the challenge or interest to the player. Depending on tastes and interests, adult gamers will find much to enjoy in all of the categories of games now available.

"Classifications are overseen by the Standing Committee of Attorneys-General. SCAG includes attorneys general from all states, territories, and the Commonwealth. Most members are also the relevant minister for classifications in their jurisdiction. Under the Federal legislation, one minister can veto changes to our classification system in Australia. Hitherto, attorneys general have not agreed to create an R18+ category for computer games.

"A discussion paper will be released to the public shortly on the proposal for an R18+ classification for video games. I support the issuing of a public discussion paper that adequately represents both sides of the argument."

Atheist message not heard down under

2009-01-13T15:22:00.000-08:00

As you may have read, last week Londoners were treated to a different kind of bus advertisement. The British Humanist Association, with the aid of good old Richard Dawkins, launched their atheist bus ad campaign throughout the UK. Unfortunately for Aussies, a similar attempt by the Atheist Foundation of Australia was rejected by the ad agency that takes care of all the outdoor advertising around the country.

Story in SMH here.

BRITISH atheists have been celebrating the appearance of flippant slogans on London buses this week but atheists in Australia have been barred from launching a similar advertising campaign on the nation's public transport systems.
The Atheist Foundation of Australia was knocked back by Australia's biggest outdoor advertising company, APN Outdoor, on its proposal for a nationwide campaign featuring atheist slogans.
The campaign - with slogans such as "Sleep in on Sunday mornings" and "Celebrate reason" - follows successful attempts by the British and American Humanist Associations to raise awareness for atheism in London and Washington.
APN Outdoor cited no reason for rejecting the $16,000 public transport campaign, and declined to comment.

"The intention was to demonstrate to the public that there is an alternative to religion that is rational, reasonable and worthy of thought," said the president of the Atheist Foundation of Australia, David Nicholls.
"It took three weeks for APN Outdoor to come to a decision, after they initially told me there'd be no problem. The final discussion by phone to an executive ended with an abrupt message that they were not going to take our business."

APN Outdoor refused to comment on whether the company's clients include religious organisations, but Mr Nicholls said buses in Adelaide had been adorned with religious messages such as "John 3:16". He also approached bus advertisers in Hobart, with the same result.

"Australia is in desperate need of a human rights and equal opportunities act," Mr Nicholls said. "It's clear that western Europe, the US and Britain have better laws than we do when it comes to … respecting freedom of speech."

Associate Professor Carole Cusack, of the Department of Studies in Religion at the University of Sydney, said most Australians were too apathetic about religion to be affected negatively by the campaign. "If religions can buy advertising space, then why not atheists?"

Friar Peter McGrath, of St Francis of Assisi Catholic parish in Paddington, agreed.

"The [atheists] should have a right to advertise. They should be able to say what they want."

The atheists are taking their case to the Tasmanian Anti-Discrimination Board.

Are video games art?

2008-12-10T19:52:00.000-08:00

The most debated topic in gaming, and one of my better-received GameSpot AU investigations. Check out some of the comments! Gamers don't mess about.

Original here.

In 1917 French artist Marcel Duchamp exhibited a urinal and called it art. Eighty-seven years later it was voted the most influential artwork of the 20th century by 500 art world professionals.

Art is notoriously tough to define. The moment a reasonable description of art is agreed upon, something comes along that demands it be re-evaluated. The latest culprit to upset the balance is video games. The debate of whether or not video games are an art form began as a discussion among academics a little less than a decade ago, and has since gained momentum in the video games community and, to some extent, the mass media.

One side argues that video games are increasingly valuable cultural artefacts that employ new technologies and a range of creative processes to produce an effective, and artistic, entertainment medium. The other side argues that the interactivity of video games renders them unfit to be classified as art. But this feature doesn’t aim to draw conclusions--it aims to give voice to those who have not yet had their say. Do video game developers see themselves as artists? Do they want the games they make to be labelled as art? Do they care?

All art takes into account the intentions of its creator. With that in mind, GS AU has caught up with some of this year’s most innovative game developers including Jonathan Blow (Braid), Media Molecule (Little Big Planet) and Blue Tongue (de Blob) to find out what, if any, artistic motivations were at the heart of their creative visions.

Defining the Indefinable

In November 2005, US film critic Roger Ebert claimed that video games will never be as artistically worthy as movies or literature. He wrote:

”I am prepared to believe that video games can be elegant, subtle, sophisticated, challenging and visually wonderful. But I believe the nature of the medium prevents it from moving beyond craftsmanship to the stature of art. To my knowledge, no one in or out of the field has ever been able to cite a game worthy of comparison with the great dramatists, poets, filmmakers, novelists and composers. That a game can aspire to artistic importance as a visual experience, I accept. But for most gamers, video games represent a loss of those precious hours we have available to make ourselves more cultured, civilised and empathetic.”

It would not be wrong to say that Ebert’s perspective on video games mirrors the majority of the non-gamer public. But what if things were the other way around? In his book titled Everything Bad is Good for You, US author Stephen Johnson defends video games against the widely held preconception that they, along with other forms of popular entertainment, are detrimental to cognitive and moral development. To do this, Johnson envisions a world where video games are the standard and books have newly been invented. He imagines that critic responses to this new medium may be something like this:

“Unlike the longstanding tradition of game playing, which engages the child in a vivid, three-dimensional world filled with moving images and musical soundscapes, navigated and controlled with complex muscular movements, books are simply a barren string of words on the page. Reading books chronically under-stimulates the senses. You can’t control their narratives in any fashion; you simply sit back and have the story dictated to you.”

Video games have a long ladder to climb before Johnson’s imagined reality can become our own, but acknowledging games as an art form is a step in the right direction. While defining art relies to some extent on subjectivity, there are certain characteristics that appear to be staples in any definition of the visual arts: great technical ability, self expression, a level of visual harmony and/or beauty, an insight into reality and the potential to make the viewer question the way he or she looks at the world. Interactivity, you’ll notice, is not on the list. This, in a nutshell, is the case against video games as an art form. Traditional forms of art engage the viewer in a static way; video games engage the viewer through participation.

Helen Stuckey, games lab curator at the Australian Centre for Moving Image in Melbourne, has been working with video games for eight years. She says art cannot happen without interactivity. “Interactivity is a very challenging experience for earlier definitions of what art is,” she said. “I’m trained to tell people what’s art and video games are art--they are a beautiful blend of art and technology that take years to develop and are full of craftsmanship of an extraordinary kind.”

The question of whether video games should or shouldn’t strive for artistic value is important. Certainly, with games like Okami, Shadow of the Colossus or BioShock it’s easy to imagine art playing a central role in the original aims of the game. But should all developers keep this in mind? “I think they should,” Stuckey said. “You certainly see games where you really feel that art has been part of the ambition, and in some ways they’re much closer to the traditional definition of art, both in the fact that they’re storytelling games and that they’re beautiful.”

At the same time, Stuckey warns that video games are creating their own rules about what is artistically valuable; an art form in their own right, and by their own standards.

“Games create their own kind of aesthetic, so we don’t want to be comparing them to other art forms to find out what makes them art. We have to look within games. Most art forms have a relationship between the creator and the audience--audiences now come with their own concepts and ways of reading that enriches the artwork. That’s a very active relationship when you’re dealing with video games, because you have to be literally playing the video game to appreciate it.”

In early 2006, US author and self-confessed gamer Nic Kelman wrote Video Game Art, a book whose aim is to convince readers that video games are the dominant art form of the new millennium. Like Stuckey, Kelman argues that video games have created new standards for artistic merit.

“A game like Shadow of the Colossus might be considered valuable for its beauty, music, or as a whole,” Kelman said. “A game like Madden NFL 08 might be considered artistically valuable for its ability to portray reality as accurately and deeply as possible. The emotional impact of video games is just as deep and strong as a movie or a book or a piece of music. The people who do not agree are most often those who have never played a video game. “

Historically, art has been discussed in such a way that supports the notion that an artwork is created by a single mind. Despite collaborative projects such as film, art has continued to be framed this way. In countries like Japan, where manga and anime are celebrated as mainstream art forms, there is a much stronger sense of video games as an art form made by collaborative voices. But the West is still to catch up.

“It’s a shame that people don’t have an understanding of the faces behind games, and that games are made by creative people,” Stuckey said. “Your average punter can tell you the roles that go into the making of a film, but even your most passionate gamer can often struggle with defining the roles that go into making a game.”

According to Stuckey, gamers care passionately about having a more complex dialogue around how video games impact on their lives, what they make them think about, and how they resonate with broader philosophical ideas. “I’d like to see a lot more knowledge in the general public about who actually makes games. We don’t really discuss creators and I think that would be good for games. People have to start associating them with creative people rather than companies.”

However, not all academics share Stuckey’s opinion that video games should strive to be artistic. Miguel Sicart, assistant professor in game design at the Center for Computer Game Research at the IT University of Copenhagen, argues that game developers have no obligation to produce artistic products. “The mandate of mainstream developers is to make games that are fun and that sell,” Sicart said. “This doesn’t mean that they have to renounce making good games, but art challenges its spectators and users, and blockbuster games cannot afford to do that. Games should be fun and engaging. Art requires more than that. There is a clear trend towards making artistic games, but this is coming from indie developers.”

Sicart’s own take on the debate is that in order to understand video games as art, society must place them in relation to, not separate from, previous forms of artistic expression. “In a game like Braid, the mechanics are the message. To play this game is to understand the relation between the actions afforded to players and the vague narrative that frames them. In this sense, Braid is close to be a conceptual art piece, and hence a work of art.”

Diamond in the Rough

One of the most innovative games of the year was the Xbox Live Arcade puzzle platformer Braid. Its creator, Jonathan Blow, used the game as a reflection of his own personal experience, thoughts and ideas of the world. If art is partly about self expression, then Braid is a definite contender.

“I definitely produced Braid as an art object. Nothing in the game is random; everything is put there because I wanted it to be there,” Blow said. “It’s not all autobiographical, just a metaphorical version of things that happened in my life, things I’ve thought about, or things I’ve done. There were things that I wanted to try and things I wanted to show people, and video games are a natural way to do that.”

It took Blow three and a half years to make Braid into a game that has simplicity and elegance at its core. After its Xbox Live Arcade release, it was purchased by more than 55,000 people during the first week and was critically acclaimed by the review community (GameSpot gave the game a score of 9.5, the highest score given to a downloadable game in the site’s history). Reviewers praised Braid for its innovative use of the time reversal as a platformer, its art style, music score and story. But the most obvious thing about Braid is its distinction from other video games.

“It exists for a different reason than what most games do, and people pick up on that,” Blow said. “It isn’t a game that caters to a certain demographic, and it’s not a game that’s trying to do the same thing as another game. People appreciate where Braid is coming from, and what it’s trying to do.”

As somebody who makes games and intends them to be art, Blow thinks the debate surrounding video games as art is not a useful one.

“I know what I’m doing, so why do I need to argue about it? It doesn’t change what I’m doing. It just doesn’t make sense for someone to come along and tell me that what I’m doing is not art.

“The problem that I have with the ostensible argument of whether games can be art is that people very seldom approach things at that level of thought. It’s not just a level of discussion that seems very productive or helpful.”

According to Blow, games like Braid that differ from the mainstream can help change public opinion on the artistic value and worth of video games. But if video games are to ever become more than just mere entertainment, they will need to master a new formula that is innovative and successful. New York Times writer Daniel Radosh argues that the games that come closest to achieving artistry tend to be non-narrative: abstractions of light and sound and puzzle adventures that subvert a gamers’ sense of space, time and physics. Radosh argues that while a game like Halo 3 is flawless, it does not succeed as a work of art because it does not even try.

“Like cinema, games will need to embrace the dynamics of failure, tragedy, comedy and romance,” Radosh argues. “They will need to stop pandering to the player’s desire for mastery in favour of enhancing the player’s emotional and intellectual life. Gamers have a right to expect more than what the medium now has to offer.”

Blow is trying to achieve just that. But he’s not certain the revolutionary change he’s hoping for will come anytime soon. “In order for people to appreciate video games we, the developers, have to stop creating 99.9 per cent juvenile crap,” he said. “I don’t know if that’s going to happen.

“I would really appreciate if the game development community explored the potential of the medium and make stronger and more compelling games outside what we’re doing right now. No one save teenage boys and a few exceptions wants to run around killing monsters as Kratos from God of War. Very few people are interested in that on a societal level. We, as developers, have found an audience that is very interested in that and we keep playing to that audience, because it’s very risky not to.”

“There are very few games right now that are really aimed at changing a person’s life. I think I’ve made some attempt at that direction with Braid. It’s a game that is trying to speak to people, to make them see the world in a new way. I hope we can keep on creating games like that.”

Play and Learn

Roger Ebert’s comments in 2005 sparked the first real public debate on whether video games can or cannot be classified as art. The main arguments against video games which sprung from what followed centred on the belief that video games are unable to communicate meaning in the same way that films or books. While the majority of video games are not built in this fashion, more and more video game developers agree that video games have the potential to communicate ideas about life and the world to players.

According to Kellee Santiago, president and co-founder of thatgamecompany--the studio behind flOw and the upcoming title, Flower--video games have already begun to tap the communicative possibilities of interactive media.

“I want to see more critiques of games that focus on how games make the player feel,” Santiago said. “Games are a medium through which we communicate, and therefore they are art. Those of us who played games through our most formative years know that games absolutely do communicate ideas and can impact an audience.”

Santiago founded thatgamecompany in 2006 with business partner Jenova Chen after meeting at the University of Southern California. Combining their shared passion for video games with a will to push the communicative boundaries of the medium, Santiago and Chen began working on titles for digital distribution. “The timing seemed perfect for us to go ahead and create games that offer different emotional content and push the idea of what can be communicated in a video game,” Santiago said.

And that’s exactly what they did. After striking a three-game deal with Sony for the PlayStation Network, thatgamecompany’s first commercial title, flOw, was released in February 2007, and quickly became the top selling PSN title. The company’s next game, Flower, aims to be the video game equivalent of a poem. Rather than telling a sophisticated story, Santiago and Chen want players to have their own interpretations of the game.

“Flower's creation is very much inspired by my personal journey through the US,” Chen said. “Having grown up in metropolitan China, I was shocked by the endless green grass fields and the windmill farms I saw while travelling between big cities. I mixed what I saw in New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles and my hometown Shanghai together with the wild dream of nature.”

For Chen and Santiago, learning to treat video games as an art form came naturally. When working on a game, the pair abandons any considerations for the kind of game they as developers want to make, and focus on what the game could communicate to players. This approach to game making is one that Chen and Santiago see splitting the game development community.

“On one hand it appears we [the game development community] are crying out that games should be recognised as art,” Santiago said. “On the other hand, it also appears we're saying that content in games doesn't influence player behaviours. I see a contradiction in wanting to be taken seriously as an art form, but then waving any responsibility in the kind of content we produce. “Only when a gamer accepts a video game as a work of art will they become aware of the ideas it is communicating. We hope Flower inspired some thoughtful contemplation in the player, and we hope it inspires ideas that players will be able to discuss with others.”

A New Approach

Despite academics like Miguel Sicart indicating that mainstream developers and publishers will continue to deliver successful prototypes of video games without moving beyond the conventional boundaries of the medium, some mainstream developers have already begun to push the envelope.

In September this year, Australian studio Blue Tongue and publisher THQ released the colourful puzzle game de Blob. Lauded by video game critics worldwide for its originality and entertaining gameplay, de Blob invites players to use their creativity in restoring a city back to life by re-animating it with colour. Creative director of Blue Tongue, Nick Hagger, says de Blob invites reflection and interpretation.

“If we accept that as one of the definitions of art, then de Blob should be considered art,” Hagger said. “Games are still a somewhat nascent art form, their widespread acceptance as art is reliant upon generational and cultural change, as well as the development of a shared critical dialogue, which allows people to engage equally in discussion of games.

“As games become more a part of mainstream culture, I think the debate will be less relevant.”

Like Jonathan Blow, Kellee Santiago and Jenova Chen, Hagger used video games to reflect his own values and ideas of the world; de Blob reflects a lot of Hagger’s feelings about growing up in the inner city.

“I think any medium that makes you think about what you’re doing outside it and invites wider questions about your world is artistically valuable. This debate is something that is less about the perceived artistic merit of the medium, but more to do with the insecurity of gamers wanting to accelerate the mainstream legitimisation of games; it doesn’t engage anyone beyond those people who are active participants or consumers of gaming culture. I think the majority of people making games would have no trouble asserting that what they create is art; developers join the games industry because they have a passion for creative expression, regardless of their specific discipline.”

This is certainly true of Media Molecule, the developer behind Sony’s Little Big Planet. Like de Blob, Little Big Planet uses creativity to encourage self expression; Media Molecule’s vision for the game centred on fusing art with gameplay and design.

“Right from the start, art was integral to the creation of Little Big Planet,” said Media Molecule’s executive producer, Siobhan Reddy. “We wanted the game to be about expression. Our art director is actually an artist and he brought to the table that traditional aspect of art that you see in the game.”

While Reddy believes that video games as a medium are artistic, the current video game development industry is far too broad to demand artistic value from all video games.

“There are definitely games out there that are wonderful examples of a synergy of art, design, gameplay and sound, all of which take the player on a journey. Of course, not all video games can be, or need to be, like this. It’s just great that there are some developers out there who are using the medium to produce art. Artists don’t have to be painters or sculptors--I consider my programmers at Media Molecule artists because I’ve seen what they can do.”

Through Little Big Planet’s creative tools and gameplay, Reddy and her team hope to attract non-traditional gamers to gaming.

“I can play it with my nephews who are eight and six; I can play it with my brother who is a photographer and artist; I can play it with my sister and her fiancé; and I can even sit down and play it with my mum and my dad. And for a game to be that diverse is really rare.”

Earlier this year, Media Molecule and Sony teamed up with design schools in New York and Sydney to promote Little Big Planet and give design students the opportunity to create their own levels. The partnerships were a success and, according to Reddy, helped to promote the studio and the work they had created. This, she says, is something more development studios need to do.

“We as developers all feel comfortable seeing and using technology as a way to fuse all the different aspects of art and creativity together. But I would love to see teams get more exposure. It comes down to studios backing their teams, and giving them the opportunity to express themselves. The industry should promote its own talent, but that could quite easily start with studios promoting their own talent first.”

Star Wars exhibition at the Powerhouse Museum

2008-11-20T15:28:00.000-08:00

An article about the new Star Wars exhibition at the Powerhouse Museum for the Sydney Morning Herald. Original here.

Somewhere in a laboratory a scientist is watching Star Wars and taking notes. It's not the popular story, engaging characters or entertaining action scenes that capture the scientist's attention - it's the speeders, robots and spacecraft. But what do these on-screen technologies have to do with science as we know it now?

The Powerhouse Museum has the answer. Its new exhibition, Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination, will use the Star Wars films to introduce visitors to real scientific concepts that are being developed today.

Developed by the Museum of Science, Boston, in collaboration with Star Wars creator George Lucas's company, Lucasfilm Ltd, the exhibition will explore the real science behind the fantasy technologies depicted in the films, comparing these with the latest research that could lead to real-life equivalents.

Kerrie Dougherty, the curator of space technology at the Powerhouse, says the exhibition also explores the role that imagination has played in inspiring real-life scientific work.

"People have always been inspired by science-fiction, and that creative spark leads to innovation," she says. "The aim of this exhibition will be to encourage people to think about the future of science and where these new technologies are headed."

The exhibition will draw on four technological themes from the Star Wars films: transport, robotics, medical developments and environmental adaptation. It will feature more than 20 examples of real-world technology to tie in with these themes, including video interviews with filmmakers, scientists and engineers, hands-on interactive displays, and props, models and costumes from all six films, including Luke Sky- walker's speeder from Episode IV, original models or robots R2D2 and C3PO.

Over two levels, the exhibition also allows visitors to experiment in two makeshift engineering labs, where they can build magnetic levitation devices and miniature droids, and spin around in a real hovercraft.

The point of all this will be to get people thinking about the real-life equivalent of the technologies they see at work, such as modern prosthetics, medical implants, adapting to new environments as global warming takes its toll and questions of ethics, such as whether robots should have rights.

"This exhibition is all about education, but it's not just for children," Dougherty says. "I recommend this to anyone, Star Wars fan or not. There is so much knowledge to take away about everything from robotics and technology to science in general. Star Wars is the perfect platform to teach about these things because people know about it even if they haven't seen any of the films. It's become embedded in popular culture."

Why has Star Wars remained so popular? Dougherty remembers the hype surrounding the first film as it premiered in Sydney in 1977.

"People were amazed. I think Star Wars has endured the test of time because it's such an endearing story. It keys into all the stories we use in our society: the good triumphing over evil, the hero's journey etc. It's got all the good stuff that we love. It's a very simple story in one sense but a powerful one."

The exhibition's original curator, Ed Rodley from the Museum of Science in Boston, says that despite its title the exhibition is not about Star Wars.

"It's about our world, and our future. So, why Star Wars then? One of the greatest challenges of thinking about the future lies in visualising things, particularly technologies that don't yet exist. To talk about our future, we needed a depiction of a tech- nologically advanced society that was familiar to a broad audience."

This is not the first Star Wars exhibition at the Powerhouse. In 2002, Star Wars: The Power Of Myth explored the archetypal themes and motifs from classical mythology in the films. One of the most successful Powerhouse exhibitions, it attracted more than 200,000 visitors in five months. The two exhibitions differ in aims but expectations are high that the new Star Wars exhibition will attract even more visitors.

Dawn Casey, the museum's director, says there will be a focus on the educational component of the exhibition.

The museum will run school seminars for students in their final years of high school, and host teacher forums to introduce the exhibition and offer professional development. "We're keen to reverse the shortage of children taking up science, and we see the exhibition as a launching pad to increase the involvement children have with the subject," Casey says. "With the last Star Wars exhibition we didn't get as many school groups coming through as we would have liked."

Casey has run forums with museum colleagues and academics to gauge the future of the Powerhouse Museum.

"We discovered that people think it's time for the museum to take on a stronger science and technology focus, and we're taking this on board with the new Star Wars exhibition.

"The story of Star Wars engages everyone, no matter what their age. People have grown up with the characters, and the imagination around it. It's lighthearted and it feeds the imagination."

Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination opens on December 4 at the Powerhouse Museum.

Australia's Internet Censorship

2008-11-19T19:28:00.000-08:00

This is an article on internet censorship for The Guardian. Original can be found here.

Won't somebody think of the children? This mantra is being used with great effect by the Australian government to increase its control over what Australians see, watch and do - all, ostensibly, in the name of protecting the nation's youth. And a scheme that amounts to censorship is coming closer: the government has said that it wants to start live trials of ISP-level content filtering before Christmas.

In January, the government annouunced its $A128.5m (£55.2m) Plan for Cyber-Safety - a content-filtering scheme based on the pre-election pledge of Kevin Rudd, who became prime minister last year. His plan follows the failure of the A$189m NetAlert scheme put in place by the government of John Howard, who was defeated in the last federal election.

The plan was put together by Australian Labor senator Stephen Conroy, the minister for broadband, communications and the digital economy, with the aim of protecting children from pornography and violent websites and the banning outright of illegal material.

Australians will be unable to opt out of the scheme. Senator Conroy told the Australian media: "Labor makes no apologies to those that argue that any regulation of the internet is like going down the Chinese road. If people equate freedom of speech with watching child pornography, then the government is going to disagree."

Keeping it clean

The scheme will require ISPs to offer a "clean-feed" web service to all homes, schools and public internet access points. There will be two blacklists: one that blocks all illegal material, such as child pornography; and the second which blocks a list of things deemed unsuitable for children, to be determined by the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA). Only the latter blacklist will be optional.

What better rationale than children's sensibilities to reassure people the trampling of their rights is worth it? The Australian government's agenda on national censorship is based on an appeal to emotion - it doesn't matter what it bans or censors, it can always claim it's for the benefit of children.

However, the response has been largely hostile. An online poll by the Courier-Mail newspaper in Queensland showed that some 86% of respondents do not support the scheme. And concerns that it is technically impossible to implement and will slow further Australia's already slow internet speeds by as much as 30% are just some of the fears.

Civil liberties groups say that the scheme is an infringement of Australians' rights. Colin Jacobs, who chairs the online users' lobby group Electronic Frontiers Australia, says: "I'm not exaggerating when I say that this model involved more technical interference in the internet infrastructure that what is attempted in Iran, one of the most regressive censorship regimes in the world."

Australia doesn't have a good track record on censorship. For example, the continued refusal by the attorneys-general of Australia to introduce an R18+ classification for videogames is just one issue in addition to the proposed filtering scheme.

When DH Lawrence's Lady Chatterley's Lover was first published in 1928, Australia was not the only nation to ban the book. But 40 years later, it remained one of the only countries where the ban was still in force. Bret Easton Ellis's American Psycho is still in effect banned in the state of Queensland - the book is classified a Category 1 publication, meaning it cannot be sold in the state and must be sealed in plastic before it is sold anywhere else. And Australia's previous attempt to censor the internet is nothing to be proud of. In August last year, 16-year-old Tom Wood was able to hack through the NetAlert filters, put in place by the previous government at a cost said to be A$84m, in just half an hour (Are web filters just a waste of everyone's time and money? August 30 2007). When the Australian government was apprised of that, it added another filter; Wood cracked that in 10 minutes.

Helen Coonan, the then communications minister, said at the time that "unfortunately, no single measure can protect children from online harm and ... traditional parenting skills have never been more important". But perhaps that has been rethought in favour of ever more ambitious filters. While nobody would argue that it's important for everyone to have access to child pornography, the counter-argument - that it's more important to find the tiny number of people who access such content and prosecute them, while leaving everyone else alone - doesn't seem to have occurred to the Australian government.

Who benefits?

The Rudd government has released the results of a lab trial carried out last year by the ACMA, a closed-environment test of ISP-level content filters which tested the effect on network traffic and its effectiveness at identifying and blocking banned content. While the filtering technology had improved since a trial in 2005, what is clear is that a slower network is guaranteed. Of the six ISP-level filters tested in July by the ACMA, the majority caused drops in speed between 21% and 86%. The filters also proved inaccurate, with a significant number of innocuous pages blocked (1.3% to 7.8%) and unsafe pages let through (2% to 13%).

What's more, the scheme will only be applied to web traffic, meaning that peer-to-peer filesharing will not be filtered, despite accounting for an estimated 60% of internet traffic in Australia.

The government has tried to get around these problems by pointing to Britain, Sweden, Canada and New Zealand, which all have similar filtering systems. However, in those countries the filtering systems are not mandatory. In the UK, BT's CleanFeed system uses a list of thousands of sites hosting content such as child pornography provided by the UK-based Internet Watch Foundation; the list is offered without compulsion to ISPs.

The Australian government is commited to pushing ahead with its trials, despite the overwhelmingly negative reaction. Nobody seems to be benefiting from the move - except possibly the ISPs, who will be able to charge for additional filters. The children the government is so keen to protect will simply see their internet speeds degraded.

Tharen's

2008-11-18T20:54:00.000-08:00

Another restaurant review to be found in 3D World on Monday.

Tharen’s Restaurant and Bar
15 Kellet Way, Kings Cross

I was duped by Tharen’s. In my research I discovered that this little French restaurant in Kings Cross is owned by a beautiful French woman named Tharen, who escaped from the clutches of the evil Nazis in Paris during WWII and came to Australia to set up a lovely restaurant in the name of her dead parents. As it turns out, Tharen’s is owned by a 20-something Australian guy named Bobby.
“I feel bad about the whole thing,” he said. “The story is made up, and it’s effective, but it’s time we let it go. We’re all Aussies here, and we’re proud of our French restaurant.”

Going back to 1979, the recently updated and refurbished Tharen’s has been given a new life by its manager and director, Bobby Jewell. After buying the restaurant from its previous owners at the ripe old age of 21, Jewell re-designed it to fit the theme of a rather loud, raucous and fun costume party. Hats of every size, shape and colour adorn the restaurant walls. A woman in a Queen of Hearts costume greeting you by the door, with fire spinners in her hands. The hat stand by the front door is full of feather boas and other accessories. Magicians, fantasy face painters and performers walk through the restaurant at regular intervals.

At first my partner and I were shy – we chose a hat and sat down at our table as the restaurant around us began to slowly fill with the excited chatter of newcomers: two birthday parties, one hen’s night and an office party. The restaurant caters for parties of 4 to 180 and the menu is set. For $55 per person (food only) you can have your choice of six exotic entrees, mains and desserts, and buy your own drinks from the bar. For entrees, we opted for the Moroccan spiced lamb with chickpea, tomato, preserved lime and cucumber riata and the caramelised onion, goat’s cheese and tomato tart with green olive dressing. Both arrived on time (after complimentary garlic bread and salad) and tasted delicious. The portions weren’t big, but that left us excited about the mains. When the mains did arrive, the restaurant party was in full swing – the soundtrack playing was made for sing-alongs, and everyone was taking advantage of it. My partner’s main of herb and garlic chicken ballentine on spec and pumpkin rosti and citrus basil beurre blanc was succulent and tangy, while the red wine jus on my mustard roasted veal loin fillet with potato and kumara gratin made me, albeit discreetly, lick my plate.

Seeing as there were a few birthdays to celebrate, including my own, we were informed that we’d have to try the Tharen’s house special Bombe Alaska baked ice cream cake. As the cakes are brought out by staff in fancy dress, the house lights dim as the whole restaurant bursts into chorus to sing ‘Happy Birthday’. The cakes are lit on fire, briefly, before being divided into portions. I’ve never had fiery baked ice cream before, but I’m sure to make it a habit after this particular experience. The pace inside the restaurant picked up after dessert – tables were pushed back and people took to dancing. We marveled for a while at the sight of a restaurant where complete strangers become best friends by the end of the night, before calling it quits ourselves after four hours of extravagant, Tharen’s fun.

The Chophouse

2008-11-16T19:35:00.001-08:00

A restaurant review to be found in 3D World magazine on Monday.

Chophouse Restaurant and Bar
25 Bligh St, Sydney

Kingsley Smith’s new restaurant has no windows. This is an unusual design decision for the restaurateur, whose successful Kingsleys Steak and Crabhouse in Woolloomooloo overlooks the wharf with sprawling city views. But then again, the Chophouse is re-inventing many restaurant rules.
Set in the heart of the CBD, the Chophouse is a modern steakhouse with a health conscious focus. As we learn from Executive Chef David Clarke (formerly of Quay Restaurant), the purpose of no windows inside the restaurant is to offer customers a break from their day-to-day high-rise surroundings.
“You can come here to eat fast, healthy, food and get away from the bustle of the city,” Clarke said.

The effect is immediate—the stained and crumbling walls of the Chophouse with its high ceilings contrast perfectly with the immaculate tables and mood lighting, like you’re about to embark on a fine dining experience in the midst of an abattoir. Even the stainless steel sculptures hanging from the ceiling look remarkably like the ribs of a cow.
The menu is also not what you’d expect from a typical steakhouse—half of it is dedicated to salads.
“A lot of people are health-conscious these days, and we’ve made that the focus of the Chophouse,” Clarke said. “We make everything ourselves right here, including growing our own herbs and getting the best seasonal produce from local growers.”
This, Clarke says, is also to attract more women clientele, who traditionally steer clear of ‘giant steak and pint of beer’ steakhouses.

As we sit down to dinner we can’t help noticing the extensive wine list. I didn’t count, but it’s safe to say more than 100 were on offer, ranging in price from $34 to over $800 a bottle. We chose a modest $41 bottle of 2006 Grant Burge ‘Hillcot’ Merlot. For starters I know I must try one of the salads and so opt for the crisp pork belly and sea scallop salad ($18.90) while my dining partner goes for the spinach and tallegio risotto ($18.50). For mains we choose the glazed beef short rib with house made BBQ sauce ($28.90) and the T-bone with chutney and jus ($46.50). The mains don’t come with any sides, so we get shoestring fries ($6.90) and a salad called The Wedge (iceberg lettuce, bacon, blue cheese, salad onions, basil and dried tomatoes, $12.90). When the entrees arrive, my partner swoons over his risotto which melts in his mouth, and I dig into my pork belly and sea scallop salad, still warm, and have a similar reaction: I’m glad someone thought of mixing these two foods together, because they taste amazing.

The mains come in huge portions, but we’re not put off—my partner’s steak glistens on his plate while my ribs are so tender they practically fall off the bone. The house made BBQ sauce is great, but the salad left me a bit disappointed—it tasted good, but there was just too much lettuce. We could barely fit in dessert but we did our best, with the gooey goodness and candied almonds of a Peach Melba ($12) and an opulent flourless chocolate cake ($14.50). So delicious was the whole ordeal that I looked longingly at my unfinished beef ribs and was almost tempted to ask for a doggy-bag. As a woman, I can say with certainty that I’ll definitely be joining the regular clientele of the Chophouse.

Parkour

2008-11-05T19:55:00.000-08:00

My lover Darryn and I did a story together for The Vine on Parkour. The French invented it and it's all about getting from one place to the other in the shortest amount of time possible. Exciting stuff. There's also jumping from buildings and doing flips and what not.

Anyway, I took some pictures and Darryn did some wonderful things with them in Photoshop and here is the result. The original story is here.

Karen Allen aka feisty Marion Ravenwood

2008-10-30T16:36:00.001-07:00

Garden Music Festival

2008-10-21T18:08:00.000-07:00

This review can be found in 3D World.

Garden Music Festival
Government House
Sunday, October 19

Walking past the gates of Government House on Sunday towards Garden Music, I felt compelled to turn to my lover and ask: “Are we in the right place?” For sure enough, the short glimpses of the perfectly manicured grounds gave way to babies, kites and women with wide-brimmed hats.

Things were only slightly different once we were inside the grounds—sure enough, Entropic were there on centre stage, cruising through one of their jazzy percussive melodies and trying to will the crowds away from the coffee stand, but the clientele of Garden Music had remained relatively unchanged: families galore, interspersed with the occasional young couple. It’s true, the sunny day and lazy beats made for a perfect pairing, but I couldn’t help feeling a little out of place. This feeling was only heightened as we walked past a herd of elderly citizens, grouped together under the shade of a tree in large sun chairs, raving about pensions and what not.

The 1940s vibe continued well into the Government House grounds, where the croquet and badminton were in full swing. After a moment or two of excited anticipation at living out my Alice In Wonderland fantasies (I’ve wanted to play croquet ever since reading that book), my lover and I descended into the field where we amused ourselves for about two minutes playing badminton, before the huffy game attendants told us, rather sternly, that we could just walk onto the field and start playing, we had to get in a line. Fuck that, thought we. So it was on to croquet, which turned out rather disappointing, given the weight of the mallets and the surprising difficulty of coordination.

By that stage we were content to simply lie down on the lawns with some garlic prawns and a glass of wine and listen to Hermitude as they took to the stage with their Cuban-based rhythms, jazz and hip-hop, while watching the small crowd that had formed in front of the stage, dancing along, waving their arms in some sort of ritualistic, rain-dance kind of way.

And so the afternoon slipped away, until the excited screams of children got too much for us and so we said goodbye to one of the most confusing, yet delightfully fun music festivals we’d ever been to.

Video Games Draw Parallel with the Art World

2008-10-15T22:56:00.000-07:00

Art scandals are fun. Sometimes whole decades can pass without a really good, juicy, art scandal. The art world is usually a reserved, shy, sort of place, where debates are carried out in polite, hushed whispers. Barely does the general public get a glimpse into this paradise of civility. But, when they do, the paradise can quite quickly turn into Hades.

Australia's latest art scandal saw one of our most famous and talented photographers, Bill Henson, shrouded in a media frenzy that sought to judge whether or not the artist passed as a child pornographer. I think the jury may still be out on that one, even though public censors and police have all stated Henson's work is decidedly not guilty being anything but art. But since this is an opinion piece, I'll begin by stating my view on Henson, and his work.

I first came across Henson's work while studying visual arts in high school. Having a keen interest in photography, I was instantly grabbed by the subtle, emotive and rather lonely nature of his photographs. I loved them. Never, as the then-15-year-old girl that I was, did I find contention with the fact his photos often depicted naked children.

Henson has long been considered one of this country's greatest exports, and one of the best photographers all around. Never has anyone, to my knowledge, had any problem with any of his work (and he's been photographing children for a long time). Why now? I guess that's the nature of art scandals; they spring up without real reason.

In any case, the debate has been an interesting one to follow. It's in its dying days now, but someone has already written a book about it--author and journalist David Marr (who has written about previous art scandals in Australia) wrote The Henson Case.

I saw David Marr last night, speaking about the 'Henson hullaballoo', as he called it. What struck me though (and here's what I'm sure you've been waiting for) is that throughout his entire speech, he might as well have been speaking about video games.

The link here is the protection of children, and the fact that Australian society seems to have gone a bit cuckoo over this. Australia remains the only civilized country that still effectively 'bans' video games because of this obsession with the protection of children. No matter that children are not the target audience for video games or the visual arts-- their protection seems to overrule the basic freedoms that should be afforded to citizens.

What is happening now in the art world has been happening for a long time in the video games world. The fact that the government refuses to introduce an R18+ classification is all tied to this notion of protecting children.

At the Federal Government's request, the Australia Council now plans to introduce 'arts protocols' in response to the Henson case. The protocols relate to the depiction of children in government-funded artworks, exhibitions and publications, and will apply from January 2009. They will be a condition of Australia Council funding, and have apparently been designed to ensure the rights of children are protected in the artistic process. However, this includes ensuring that everyone viewing the artwork has an appropriate understanding of the nature and artistic content of the material.

What this means is that government-funded art galleries will not be able to exhibit any works that are deemed 'too difficult to understand' by the public. What does this mean? I don't know. How can anyone have 'an appropriate understanding of the nature and artistic content' of an artwork?

If this were a universal rule, it would effectively mean that no gallery anywhere would be able to display any artwork ever again. This goes against the very nature of what art is. The artistic vision of the artist is shared through the artwork, but everyone is free to interpret it as they wish.

And all this because they do not want children to be corrupted by, and through, images such as Henson's. These protocols are not just aimed at protecting children from being exploited as part of the art creation process, but also protecting them all around, including not being exposed to inappropriate content.

No government can censor art just because one or two people find it offensive. But as soon as there is talk of 'protecting the children', that gives a government carte blanche to do as they will, because who is going to oppose the protection of children?

This is David Marr, speaking on ABC's Lateline program:

"I try to distinguish between real children who have the real need to be protected and the kind of forum in which the fragility of children is being used by people who have always been trying to have a more modest society, a better behaved society, a more sexually conservative society. Those people aren't listened to any more at all by anybody unless they're talking about children, unless they're talking about the safety of children."

"What we have to decide as a society is whether that means we are going to start banning a whole area of material which is not considered remotely pornographic by people like the Classification Board, by the directors of public prosecution around Australia or even by police. But there is in the community at the moment a very strong wish that this somehow be stopped and banned. This is the most ambitious call for censorship that Australia has experienced for a very long time."

I would disagree with Marr only on his last point: Australia is already experiencing a very similar, if not more ambitious, wave of censorship, with the constant banning of video games in this country.

Kitty

2008-10-14T23:32:00.001-07:00

Bubbles

2008-10-12T21:35:00.000-07:00

Some pictures

2008-10-09T20:42:00.000-07:00

Wayne Kramer on Guitar Hero: World Tour

2008-10-02T17:17:00.000-07:00

I interviewed rock legend and MC5 guitarist Wayne Kramer recently for a story for GameSpot Australia in relation to the upcoming release of Guitar Hero: World Tour, which Kramer features in with a rerecord of the MC5 hit Kick Out the Jams.

Wayne Kramer has cave-dwelling hermits on his mind. These, according to the legendary MC5 guitarist, are the only people on Earth who aren't familiar with the worldwide popularity of the Guitar Hero franchise. But Kramer is biased; he's become somewhat of an advocate for the game ever since Guitar Hero publishers Activision Blizzard approached him to be part of this year's anticipated release, Guitar Hero World Tour.

It's a match made in heaven for Kramer, who, at 60, is still going strong. Performing live shows and recording music for TV and movies as often as he can, there's no doubt that the plastic Gibson would feel right at home in his hands. That is, if he ever had time to pick it up. At this stage, he's just enjoying the popularity among his younger fans.

"I don't think I've actually ever strapped a Guitar Hero guitar on, but I've been talking to a few of my friends who are in the games, and they all tell me they're always getting their arses kicked by their 6-year-old nephews," Kramer says via phone from Los Angeles. "My nieces and nephews all had the same reaction when I told them: They asked me if they could get a free game. They think I'm all hooked up. I don't even know if I'll be getting a free game, and I'm in it."

Kramer is one of the more established artists to feature in the Guitar Hero games, having started his career in 1967 as a teenager and cofounder of the very loud, very successful Detroit rock act, MC5. After a string of personal problems, the group broke up, leaving Kramer to battle a serious drug addiction for several years before returning to performing in the '90s. Kramer is now recognised by Rolling Stone as one of the top 100 guitarists of all time and will soon have his very own, signature stars-and-stripes Fender, which the guitar company will release in honour of Kramer's career. "I'm so excited to have a model of my own guitar made," he said. "It's a great honour for a kid like me who used to look at catalogues of electric guitars hoping that someday he could own one."

Although guitarists all over the world will soon be able to strap on a Kramer Fender, faux rockers all over the Guitar Hero world will soon get their own piece of Kramer memorabilia, in the form of a brand-spanking-new rerecorded version of the MC5 hit, Kick Out the Jams. Earlier this year, Activision Blizzard announced to eager ears that the long-awaited Guitar Hero World Tour, the seventh game in the popular series, would feature exclusive rerecorded songs by the likes of Motörhead and The Sex Pistols. Kramer joined the lineup of rerecorders after teaming up with original MC5 producer Bruce Botnick as well as friends Jerry Cantrell (of Alice in Chains) and Gilby Clark (formerly of Guns N' Roses) to rerecord Kick Out the Jams. The session fell just short of the 40th anniversary of the track's first studio recording, Kramer wanted to keep its authenticity by including the original vocals recorded by Rob Tyner in 1968.

"I wanted the sound to be really heavy and modern, but I wanted the spirit to be original," Kramer said. "We started brainstorming and we came up with the idea of using Rob's original vocals. We have pretty amazing tools nowadays and so that was possible. I really wanted the guitars on the track to be slamming, and I thought I'd bring in some firepower by bringing Jerry and Gilby in, and the whole thing just came together."

When Activision first approached Kramer, the musician felt thrilled that the video game publisher's music taste ran that deep. "I'm really honoured that they think the music of the MC5 deserves to be with all the other great rock artists in there. I'm really humbled by it. It looks to me like [Guitar Hero World Tour] is a who's who and a cross section of the wide world of rock, and it makes me grateful that other people would be that interested in my songs, and that these songs might mean something to them. But just because people are playing my song on Guitar Hero doesn't make me any cooler. I still have to put my pants one leg at a time."

Musically speaking, a game like Guitar Hero can play a big role in education. Its ability to condense music history into a few hours' worth of songs has seduced many artist, ancient and modern, to lend their talents to the rhythm game. The benefit for them is as much music appreciation as it is millions of people hearing their work. "With a game like Guitar Hero, 'old' bands no longer exist," Kramer said. "Every band that was ever a band is a band right now. For those who are 16 or 17, The Who is a band right now. The Yardbirds are a band right now, Black Sabbath, the MC5, The Rolling Stones--it's all right now, and I think that's a terrific state of affairs."

Kramer believes Guitar Hero sends a positive message to those who play it, and he's got high hopes that it might even inspire one or two people to pick up a real guitar. "Games like Guitar Hero combine art that's been created over the last 40 years with activities that tech-savvy people of today are comfortable with and that they enjoy. I can't see how it won't inspire people to pick up a real guitar. There's got to be some 16-year-old somewhere that gets into the game and thinks 'This is really great.' Inspiring kids to be musical is a great thing; there's no downside to it. The more art that's in people's lives, the richer their lives are."

So what of the prospect of future involvement in Guitar Hero? "I'm certainly not ruling out being part of any future Guitar Hero games. I think it's all such great stuff, and I'm happy to do anything that I can to continue to get music to the people."

Kramer has just completed a score for a documentary film called The Narcotic Farm, which will examine the history of America's attempts to deal with drug addiction. After that, Kramer will begin work on a new TV series for HBO.

Philosophy in high schools Part Deux

2008-09-30T21:28:00.000-07:00

So I wrote an article for the Sydney Morning Herald a month ago about philosophy in high schools. They got me to write a follow-up article, paid me for it, but never actually printed it...in any case, I'm tired of waiting, so I'm probably breaking like ten copyright laws right now but my blog was in dire need of something new. So here it is.

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In response to last week’s article on philosophy in high schools, the Herald was contacted by University of Sydney lecturer Dr Luke Russell, who has been teaching a HSC philosophy course titled Mind and Morality since 2001. Written and developed by Dr Russell during his PhD year, the course teaches year 11 and 12 students introductory level philosophy to the same standard as first-year university courses; its three main topics are philosophy of mind, personal identity and ethics. The course is taught partially at participating schools and partially at the Sydney University campus.

“I’ve designed Mind and Morality for students who are already doing well in their school subjects and are looking for an extra challenge,” Dr Russell said.
“It gives students analytical thinking skills and improves their ability to present a complex argument step by step.”
Dr Russell promotes the course in NSW schools, forming strong word-of-mouth support connections between students. However, numbers are still low: only around 80 students participate in it every year from across NSW. This is due to the fact that Mind and Morality counts as both a preliminary HSC unit as well as part of a future university degree, a characteristic that means the Board of Studies must place a limit on the number of students that can do the course. This, Dr Russell says, is not altogether unfavourable.
“There is a real advantage in having smaller class sizes, and that is the fact that we can have tutorial-style discussions at any point. The course has grown over the past few years and I think it will expand further in the future when we will offer more classes.”

Eighteen-year-old Chloe Paul is an ex-student of Dr Russell’s Mind and Morality course, and is now completing a Bachelor of Advanced Science at the University of Sydney with a major in Philosophy. She says studying philosophy in high school opened the door towards a better understanding of the world.
“I was very interested in the morality part of the course,” Chloe said. “I really enjoyed examining the arguments for and against various normative
ethical theories. I realised that some of my previous cultural relativist ideas (as I now know them) were pretty implausible and I think it’s made a difference to how I approach learning. I have also become far better at structuring my arguments and communicating with writing.”
Chloe believes anyone can study philosophy, no matter how young.
“There is no real limit. Three-year-old children ask philosophical questions
that the Ancient Greeks wrestled with. It’s all a matter of appropriating it to the right level.”

Daniel Wodak, 21, completed the Mind and Morality course while he was in year 11 at Sydney Boys High School in 2003, and went on to do the Philosophy Distinction Course the following year. He is now halfway through an Honours degree in Philosophy at the University of Sydney.
“As nerdy as it sounds, I really enjoy [studying philosophy],” Daniel said.
“Dealing with thought experiments about whether you'd push a fat man in front of a train to save five children is a lot more fun than real work.”
Wodak enrolled in Mind and Morality in order to try something different; what he found was something complex and challenging.
“I think that high school education in NSW really struggles to foster critical and analytical thinking. There have been some notable and laudable attempts at rectifying this, but for the most part, education is still far too focused on studying too many subjects with too little depth.”
“I think that the reason I enjoyed Mind and Morality so much is that the course was intended to test our ability to delve into one particular issue and understand it to the best extent that we could. We were encouraged to develop our own thoughts, rather than recite the thoughts of others.”

Sarah Kennedy Bates, 18, also chose to pursue philosophy in university after studying Mind and Morality in the summer school session in 2007.
“I believe that studying philosophy is beneficial to all
students, regardless of their academic focus,” she said. “Whilst there is an HSC distinction philosophy course in NSW, this is limited to accelerated students. This exclusivity and elitism helps to create the idea that philosophy is irrelevant to your average student, which is, of course, not true at all.”

Dr Russell agrees. He says the benefit of high school students studying a course like Mind and Morality is that they get to think hard about important questions that are ignored elsewhere in the HSC curriculum, such as ‘What is a person?’, ‘What are beliefs and emotions?’, and ‘How do we figure out what is morally right or wrong?’. “Our students find these philosophical questions fascinating and deeply relevant to their everyday lives,” he said. “Students appreciate being given room to question and argue in class, and lots of them say that studying philosophy has really changed their lives. It would be great if philosophy were taught more generally in high schools across Australia.”

Cupcakes

2008-09-24T22:43:00.001-07:00

One of my many dreams is to live in New York City with my lover, and bake cupcakes for a living.

Kind of like this.

Help!

2008-09-22T18:37:00.000-07:00

If anyone has any good ideas for cool and quirky photos involving:

a) a piece of red ribbon
b) bubbles
c) a tea candle
d) a blue crayon
e) a cocktail umbrella

Please tell me. Now.

Harry Potter

2008-08-26T21:16:00.001-07:00

I know I've spent a good number of years poo-pooing fans of the Harry Potter books for no good reason. I've always enjoyed the movies, and never been afraid to say so, but seven books? Come on. Who has got time to read seven books, let alone when they're supposed to be for children?

How wrong I was.

I am halfway through the sixth book, and am finding it very hard to deal with the fact that it will one day end. I have never been so captivated by a story. I come home from work, I make dinner whilst reading, eat whilst reading, and then retire to bed and read until midnight. Lame? Perhaps. But when a story can have that kind of power over you, it has to be magic.

My apologies to everyone who I may have taunted during my non-Harry-Potter-loving days.

Pixar's Andrew Stanton with Wall-E

2008-08-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

Pixar studio's Andrew Stanton headed down under recently to promote Wall-E. Here are some pictures of the duo, smiling happily for Australian photographers. Stanton proved a very nice guy who is not above signing autographs and talking to fans about their favourite Pixar films.

Philosophy in high schools

2008-08-25T17:42:00.000-07:00

This is an article I wrote for the Sydney Morning Herald on the teaching of philosophy in high schools. I interviewed Queensland teacher Peter Ellerton, who is trying to push for more high schools around Australia to adopt philosophy.

Special thank you to Darryn, who helped me to discover a Philosopher's Zone podcast, moving silently through the Greek countryside on a sunny day in June.

Article here.

Why is philosophy as a subject such a fizzer in schools, asks Laura Parker.

For Said Bouziane, a year 11 student, using deductive logic is as easy as stacking chairs.

"One day after class I noticed a student pick up a pile of five chairs and place them on a pile of two. I wondered how many times this student chose the bigger, heavier, more troublesome pile of chairs," he said.

Pondering reason and logic is a normal part of Said's day at Calamvale Community College in Brisbane, where he studies philosophy under the guidance of teacher Peter Ellerton.

A former physics teacher, Mr Ellerton introduced the philosophy and critical thinking program to Calamvale after joining a network of Queensland teachers which promotes and spreads the teaching of philosophy in high schools throughout the state.

"Some people don't understand what we mean by philosophy - they think it's just discussion," Mr Ellerton said. "The truth is it's a rigorous and analytical subject; you have to do it properly. We don't discuss the meaning of life. As a subject, I think it's more fundamental than maths or English."

Reason being … Peter Ellerton teaches philosophy at Brisbane's Calamvale Community College and started the Australian Philosophy Teachers Network to get more resources to teachers. Photo: Paul Harris

The teaching of philosophy in Queensland high schools is not new. The subject has been taught, in one form or another, for 50 years.

Other states have been quick to catch up, with Western Australia introducing a philosophy high-school program in the last year, and Victoria in the past five years. But in NSW the situation remains uncertain. The NSW Board of Studies offers philosophy as a distinction course only to students who have already sat the HSC exams.

The course is delivered through universities, and, although it contributes to the student's UAI, attendance numbers are not high: the Board of Studies data shows only 54 students enrolled in the philosophy distinction course last year. The Board of Studies also endorses school-developed courses in general philosophy, but only a handful of high schools in NSW that have taken up this offer.

One such high school is Newington College in Stanmore. The school offers critical thinking courses for each year group, as well as a moral philosophy course for years 10 to 12.

The school introduced the International Baccalaureate in 2007, which includes a theory of knowledge component. Jeremy Hall, a teacher at Newington, believes teaching philosophy in high school is the basis of a good education.

"We live in an increasingly complex world," Mr Hall says. "Whether it is genetics, war, globalisation or environmental issues, we need students to be engaged with these issues at a level that goes beyond superficial.

"Philosophy helps students to think critically, provide good reasons for being persuaded and explore their beliefs and values."

But why aren't more high schools in the state catching on?

Phil Cam is an associate professor in the school of history and philosophy at the University of NSW and the president of the Philosophy for Schools Association of NSW - a group that aims to introduce philosophy to more high schools around the state. For him, the lack of philosophy in NSW high schools is nothing short of an embarrassment.

"No one is seriously looking at teaching philosophy in high schools in NSW," Dr Cam said. "Philosophy is actually doing very well in other states, so it's clear we're behind in educational innovation.

"Would the world be a better place if kids began learning philosophy in school? Yes. It would result in a more inquiring society, a society of thinkers who are rational and reasonable."

On the world stage, philosophy is part of the high school curriculum throughout Europe and Latin America; it's only the English-speaking countries such as the United States, Britain, New Zealand, Canada and Australia that are to catch up.

"I think philosophy will eventually be added as a high school subject throughout Australia," Dr Cam says. "It's a matter of strengthening what's already happening in the curriculum."

Mr Ellerton agrees. In June this year he started the Australian Philosophy Teachers Network, to provide philosophy teachers across the country with the ability to download and share resources freely and easily.

"The problem in Australia is a lack of qualified philosophy teachers," he said. "My interest is in distributing and collecting resources for the teachers already teaching, and inspiring a few more to start.

"Overall, I think we need more teachers to bring philosophy into common ground, and understanding how great the skills it gives students are. It's a system of understanding the world, and what could be more precious than that?"

The Queensland program is taught to year 10, 11 and 12 students at Calamvale and is composed of three strands: deductive logic, critical thinking and pure philosophy. Students are instructed in the teachings of the great philosophers as well as reasoning, argumentation and spotting fallacies. Mr Ellerton discovered a newfound scepticism in his students after just one year.

"Once my students realised that they were learning to reason, they seemed to be shocked that it wasn't taught to them earlier," he said. "I think it's one of the most important things in life. A student even said to me that learning philosophy was like flipping a light switch inside his head. It's encouraging for me as a teacher to elicit this kind of response."

True enough, philosophy has left a big impression on students such as Said, and Nikki Greethead and Sara Merlino, who all study under Mr Ellerton.

"I now question absolutely everything, and I take everyone's word as opinion and not fact," Said says. "Being able to distinguish the difference between those two, I think, is priceless. Learning logic and reason has helped me find my moral compass. For a long time I'd been wondering why should I do what someone tells me, and philosophy gave me tools to reason and find answers."

Nikki found she was "far more likely to think things through now, and ask for more detailed reasoning. Nothing forces you to ask yourself 'why' quite like philosophy."

As for Sara: "I'm Christian so I had very firm beliefs to begin with. But I found that even then I was able to become more sceptical and think about things in a different way because I had learnt to reason. Philosophy is not a yes or no subject."

It seems that learning philosophy in high school also helps students to draw parallels to other subjects, encouraging their development in different areas.

"What we've found looking at the final year exams of Queensland students is that those who have studied philosophy perform better across all subjects," Mr Ellerton said.

"The result is kids who are critical thinkers and informed citizens. It's a big call to say the world would be a better place if everyone was taught philosophy young, but what you'd certainly get is a more informed and critical population, which can only be a good thing. This is incentive enough to see philosophy subject taught in other states."

Why robots are better than aliens

2008-08-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

I like robots because they’re cute. Some can not look cute, but no one really makes robots that don’t look cute. I am talking of course about androids, who are robots made to look like humans. Not entirely like humans of course but just the basics: a body, a head, two arms and two legs. Most developers choose to make androids because it helps the human-robot relationship because it’s much easier to interact with something when it’s shaped like you.

A robot’s cuteness usually comes from the fact that they have rounded joints, which makes them look cuddly. Some developers also give their robots really big puppy-eyes and this makes them a lot cuter than those C3P0-type robots that you see sometimes in university research centres. The reason why robots are better than aliens is because robots were invented to help humans lead a better life, and now there is serious research being done in using robots to help with aspects of human life that we’ve always reserved for other humans, i.e. early childhood education, care and service, and even companionship. Aliens don’t do any of these things. They’re also not cute, like robots are.

This is why robots are better than aliens.

David Sedaris

2008-08-05T18:12:00.000-07:00

My lover and I haven't been able to find a publication that will print an interview with David Sedaris, and we both really, really want to interview him.

David, if you can read this, will you let us interview you just for the fun of it?

The article can be published here, on my blog. Yes?

Looking for a great gift?

2008-08-05T18:04:00.000-07:00

Everyone is.

Here's my latest from The Vine: an article all about the joy of gift-giving. People often think that giving gifts is more about the sentiment rather than the gift itself. That's not true. I don't really care half as much about the peron's intentions as I do about what's actually given to me. You may call this selfish, but I'm sure you'll find that most people feel the same. Giving shit gifts is no excuse. So, here are some good ones.

Crafty Gift Guide

Being a creative present buyer doesn't come easy. Time, money and a general lack of good ideas often lead the best of us to the sock counter at Myer ... which can often leave the gift receiver a little more than wanting.

To save you unnecessary embarrassment, we’ve come up with a list of innovative arty and crafty gifts that will soon put you at the top of everyone’s party invitee list.

TABITHA EMMA

This 22-year-old designed lives in the outskirts of Sydney and works as a casual ice-cream shop assistant in-between designing novelty bags, purses, tea cosies, art prints and pocket mirrors. Inspired by childhood memories, Tabitha's creations are girly, young and innovative, with a touch of humour that makes these beauties perfect for the young at heart.

After studying fashion at the Whitehouse Institute of Design, Tabitha set up her own business online at Etsy.com, a site for selling and buying handmade things. Her products range from $5 to $40 and her customers come from all over the world.

"I sell wholesale and consignment to other shops around the world, both online and physical stores. I also do custom orders - I have made my purses in alternative colours and even made my designs into cushions for customers. I mail off most orders the day after purchase where possible, if not within 3 days."

Web: tabidesigns.etsy.com

KATE BANAZI

Born in London "long enough ago to have seen Star Wars when it first came out," Kate grew up in a studio environment courtesy of her artist parents. After a fashion degree and a job in textiles, she began working as a screen-print artist with her friend before moving to Sydney a year ago to get married. Kate now works from home creating custom-made silkscreened prints for just about anyone.

“I've done quite a few custom portraits and they've always been really interesting projects,” Kate says. “I try and get the idea of someone’s character often by not having met them personally or even having heard their voice. I usually send out a questionnaire, with somewhat inane questions, but these help establish personality when all I have to work with are photographs.”

Kate has worked on commissions for the music and entertainment industry, books, restaurants and tourist attractions. She uses professional water-based inks and tries to use as much recycled board and paper as she can. Her prints range in price from $50 to $2000.

“My screenprints and portraits would be the perfect gift for someone who’s looking for something a little different, and who appreciates the imperfections of something handmade.”

To order a custom-made portrait, contact Kate’s agent Jeremy, at www.jackywinter.com.

Web: www.katebanazi.com

BETSY BLONDE

Growing up in Victoria, Betsy started making jewellery for her family and friends when she was very young. After following the love of her life to Queensland, Betsy began making jewellery to pay the bills and, with no formal training under her belt, quickly quit her job to pursue her creative habit.

After a few months of selling to work colleagues and friends, Betsy Blonde was in full swing. Heavily influenced by pop culture, Betsy’s perspex shapes are quirky and fun, selling to anyone of any age, sex or taste.

“I sell to people who want something different, something that they will not see anyone else wearing. My jewellery starts conversations,” she says.

Betsy currently sells online (her own website is under construction) and her products range in price from $10 to $50. She takes custom orders and usually ships within 24 hours after receipt of payment.

Web: www.stores.ebay.com.au/betsy-blonde

SHERBET BIRDIE

Sherbet Birdie, aka Sasha Dobies, moved to Brisbane six months ago to start her own boutique old-school glamour photography studio. Catering for the 40s, 50s and 60s pin-up girl look, Sherbet Birdie is aimed at bringing out every girl’s inner sass.

“I had been art directing photography magazines in Sydney when I realised how many women I knew compared themselves with the models on the pages,” Sasha says. “I began shooting my friends for fun and that’s how it all began.”

After spending the better part of two years sourcing the right clothes, lingerie, props and costumes, Sherbet Birdie opened last month. Each photo shoot last for four hours - including hair, make-up, home-made snacks, champagne and pink cupcakes – and Sherbet Birdie caters to every girl’s fantasy (just tell them what you want).

“It’s all about a personally-tailored experience,” says Sasha.

A basic package for a half day session costs $900, including two prints. Sherbet Birdie is touring the country with stops in Sydney and Melbourne late October.

Web: www.sherbetbirdie.com

My Neighbours

2008-07-23T17:45:00.000-07:00

I live in a two-bedroom apartment in a block of six units. All of the units are occupied by women. Horrifying enough in itself, there are at least a dozen different ways that these women make my life a living hell.

The woman who is my next door neighbour is a night-shift nurse at the local hospital. She leaves for work around 10pm and returns around 7am, all day every day. Nothing to moan about yet, until one is met with her daily departure and arrival habits. For some inexplicable reason, this woman practices her tennis swing on her front and back doors, every time she leaves or comes home. I have no doubt that my whole street is alerted to her presence, either coming or going, and I can imagine them all nodding in unison when they hear her doors slamming: ‘Oh yes, the woman in number 6 is back again.’ This woman puts her hear and soul into slamming a door, and she’s getting better. Every Saturday morning, circa 7am, I am woken by the familiar sound of her door. Better than any alarm clock ever made, I am often left enraged and prone to a bout of swearing and dedicated shuffling around the house trying to find a notepad so I can write her a note once and for all and tell her that unless she stops slamming her stupid doors every morning then I am complaining to the landlord and she’ll be evicted before she has time to slam another door. This is my usual Saturday morning routine, and each week I promise myself that I’ll endure it just one more time before I slip that note under her poor and abused door.

My downstairs neighbour woman is a hopeful opera singer. By hopeful I mean she’s been to one audition, was rejected, came home, cried (loudly) and then decided she’s giving up opera to become a pop singer. Becoming a pop singer for her means supporting herself through the process, and she does this by holding singing lessons, every night of the working week from 4pm to 7pm. By now, I have learnt the voices of all her students (and given them all accordingly-fitting nicknames because, let’s face it, they all suck) and become accustomed to not being able to watch TV, talk on the phone or read during the hours of 4pm and 7pm. But recently, she has decided that she’s extending her lesson time until 10pm. So now, after a hard day at work, I come home to six morons singing flatly. And don’t for one second underestimate the power that a badly-made apartment block has in carrying decibels through flooring.

Solution?

I'm thinking about the M word. A lot.

Greece and Romania, June 2008

2008-07-03T21:26:00.000-07:00

Darryn and I took ourselves on a little holiday to visit the home of democracy, philosophy, politics and art as well as my home country of Romania. What follows is a rough documentation of our time in Greece.

Thursday, June 5 - Athens

2008-07-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

I know Darryn's writing one of these too, and let's face it, his is undoubtedly better. So I'm not going to try and write beautiful sentences or anything. I'm just going to tell it how it was, kind of the no frills version of events I suppose.

So we arrived in Athens and we were pretty buggered. But there was hope - waiting for us was a hotel, a bed (or possibly two), hot water and the promise of something infinitely better than a 30cm by 30cm airplane seat. We waited at the luggage collection, wondering to ourselves if we'd ever be the lucky ones that got our luggage first. Hey, I said, we could be. We weren't. In fact, we didn't get our luggage at all. Yes, we waited and watched the other lucky passengers pull their luggage from that rotating assembly line, keeping our eyes peeled. We waited and watched the number of passengers around us diminish until the band stopped. But no luggage. This seriously could not be happening to us. Why not? Because we'd spent like forty hours on a plane and in airports in three continents. Because we hadn't slept. Because there was a unsatisfied kid on our last flight, who kept yelling shit in another language. Because we'd eaten pork in black bean sauce for breakfast, thanks to Air China's definition of 'breakfast'. So you see this simply couldn't be happening to us. But you know, it was, and we had to accept it. So we dragged our tired arses to the lost baggage counter and filled out some forms and were assured that it would all be delivered to us at our hotel within the next three days.

After shedding a few tears (actually I surprised myself because I was ready to kill people, but, like I said, I only shed a few tears - no understatement) we decided to skip the 35 euro cab fare to our hotel and opt for the Athens Metro. Which turned out to be a good experience because we familiarised ourselves with the public transport in the city and got a little confidence back. The hotel - Hotel Apollo (no props for originality there) - was located pretty damn close to the Metro stop so we wheeled ourselves in and 12 hours later we were showered, rested and as satisfied as one could be with no underwear. Actually wait - before all that we went out and did a grueling two hours' worth of shopping, stocking up on panties, shirts and shoes for the next few days.

Friday, June 6 - Athens

2008-07-03T21:23:00.000-07:00

The next day we were relieved to discover that one suitcase had arrived - mine - and after a nice breakfast and some Internet cafe action we took off to our next hotel (a five star one) to start the tour. We left our bags there and took off to see the Acropolis and other surrounding sites, including a totally beautiful walk through some truly stereotypical Greek streets with houses made of crumbling walls, blue shutters and lots of cats. It was great.

That night we met with our tour guide and the fellow members of our tour group - it suffices to say that they were all (well, the majority) annoying Americans. Looking back now, all of them were actually really nice. We decided to stop being so judgmental from now on and try being nice for a change. But hey, at least we got some good laughs out of it at the time. And most of them were annoying on that night, asking ridiculous questions like: 'So, how careful should we be when crossing the road in Greece?'

Saturday, June 7 - Athens

2008-07-03T21:22:00.000-07:00

Today we embarked on a 'discovery' tour of Athens - trouble is Darryn and I had already discovered pretty much all there was to discover in Athens thanks to our cunning sense of adventure and desperate search for garments. Anyway we got talking to some of the people on the tour bus, and hey, they weren't all bad. Still stupid though, in my opinion. We saw lots of dogs and stuff, and made it all the way to the Acropolis where, I'm sad to say, the fifty thousand-strong crowds had a somewhat sobering effect on the whole experience. But we got some nice shots. Darryn kept goofing around on the video camera and I got the shits at one stage because he cut me off mid-sentence. Seriously, I was saying some important shit.

After a tour of the old city we went on a three-hour long search for an Internet cafe with the mission of discovering some authentic Greek theatre or classical music concert or any bloody thing which would make this a little less like an organised tour and little more like an authentic Greek experience. Anyway we found an Internet cafe but didn't find anything else. Darryn's suitcase showed up later so we got happy.

Sunday, June 8 - Corinth

2008-07-03T21:20:00.000-07:00

Today it was time to leave Athens and start the land tour. Kill me now because I don't actually remember what we saw today, even though I'm only writing this one day later. But it started with rocks and ended with more rocks and that was about it. Don't get me wrong - the history behind the rocks was fascinating, and I got some great shots. We also visited some giant theater (the oldest in Greece), where, thanks to its design, the acoustics were so magnificent that when people perform concerts and plays there they don't need microphones or amplifiers. There's a small spot in the middle of the 'stage', where if you stand facing the theater, your voice is carried at perfect pitch to the 50,000 seats surrounding you. Pretty cool. After Darryn had a turn on the spot, singing some aria, it was back on the big bus where we were carried off to the giant Corinth Canal, where we saw some cool coloured water. Lunchtime was conducted in this restaurant that was supposed to excel in Greek specialties, but after a cold plate of spaghetti with cat hair we soon realised it was just another tourist trap. The ten or so tourist buses outside the joint should have given that away but we must have been too tired to notice. Then we came to another realisation: these tours are all the same. They all promise an 'authentic' experience; what they really give you is fabricated shit made especially for tourists. Food, souvenirs, hotels - it's all specially designed to look like the real thing and you pay an arm and a leg for it thinking you're getting some sort of experience. But you're not. You're getting broke and an upset stomach. Darryn and I decided that this would be our first and last tour - next time we're doing this on our own. We have much more fun anyway and we are young and cool enough to get by without the help of some crappy travel agency. Something that fits in here that I forgot to mention: the other night we payed 52 euros each for an optional excursion to an 'authentic' Greek restaurant in Athens where we were promised real Greek food and real Greek dancers doing real Greek dancing. Instead we got microwaved frozen meals and a couple of dancers that looked like death. By this I mean you could tell they would rather have been anywhere else but there, dancing in ridiculous costumes for a bunch of tourists who don't give a shit anyway. Dude, they weren't even smiling. Anyway we both got the shits with that, since we worked out it was the most expensive dinner we've ever payed for in our lives.

So anyway, we made it to the hotel at our last stop, Nafplion, at around 4.30pm or something, only to find out there'd been a massive earthquake not 50km from where we were (6.7 on the Richter scale) and there were all these houses that had collapsed and people had died. We counted ourselves lucky and one woman in our tour bus reckons she felt the tremor, but I think she's a bullshit artist. The hotel was pretty damn awesome. It had a Jane Austen feel to it, with massive French doors and windows opening out into a beautiful garden and a huge swimming pool, where the hotel staff were setting up for a wedding. We decided to make the most of our swimmers so Darryn and I held hands and jumped into the pool together, where we frolicked about for half an hour before dinner. It was a lot of fun actually, especially with Darryn doing his whole 'Spiros' thing. The Sweet Home Alabama family was there too, their three daughters looking at us with furrowed brows, for whatever reason.

During our rather satisfying and awesome dinner we sat at the table with the other Australian couple on the tour - a bar owner and her husband from Melbourne. They were great dinner conversation and they told us all about their trip to Egypt, convincing us that yes, we should totally go there, and soon. We also talked about religion a little (the woman is a Serbian Orthodox) and life on the road. After dinner Darryn and I took a cab to the centre of town where we discovered the most wonderful, beautiful and enchanting little town that I've ever come across, with the exception of maybe Rimini in Italy (but I've since decided that this was better). The whole town had streets made of small blocks of marble - marvelously clean, shiny and colourful. It was a joy to walk on. There was a town square (like in the old days in England) where children were playing hide and seek, riding their bikes and eating ice cream. I got a couple of beautiful shots of them. We walked the narrow streets with little pink flowers blowing everywhere and discovered shops far removed from the ones we've seen so far (tourist crap). Shops selling hand-crafted children's toys, unique wall clocks, quaint lamps and heaps of other awesome stuff. Darryn had to drag me out of each one to save me from spending hundreds on fairy lights and the like. We were both in awe and decided that this was a place where we could both live one day. We wandered the streets some more and watched the people who loved life. It was great. Around 11pm we called a cab to take us back to the hotel, only to discover that our cab driver was a raving lunatic. He was driving whilst watching a soccer game on a mini TV installed in his cab. Yep. Kept his eyes on the TV the whole bloody time. I was watching him (and the road, simultaneously) and I can honestly say he only took his eyes off it just once - when he turned a corner. But hey, this is Greece and that was soccer, so who can blame the guy, right? I mean, it was Euro 2008.

Monday, June 9 - Mycenae

2008-07-03T21:19:00.002-07:00

Darryn's birthday. After an awesome breakfast we embarked on our second day in Mycenae, where we visited the archaeological site of Agememon's palace and tomb and some other rocky things. Agememon was the leader of the Greeks in the Trojan War and we learned all about the myth so that was fun. Then we got taken to some pottery store where we were given a demonstration and encouraged to spend our fat dollars on ancient pots. We both found something we liked (for presents) but I learned my lesson from the trip to Spain and decided to wait and see because we'd probably find the same stuff at a store down the road for half the price.

And, as it turned out, we did. We stopped for lunch at some dodgy restaurant where everyone sat down to eat except us. After a couple of rice cakes and extremely loud, giggly jokes we wondered down the town street (yes, there was only one) and stumbled across a massive souvenir shop that sold the exact same pots for, you guessed it, half the price. So we stocked up.

The hotel tonight was pretty crap, and we didn't enjoy it much. No pool either. Just had dinner and watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Tuesday, June 10 - Olympia

2008-07-03T21:19:00.001-07:00

We got up at 6.30am for an alright breakfast before doing a three-hour tour of Olympia to visit the site of the first Olympic Games. Then we stopped for lunch in the town of Olympia where I desperately wanted some baklava. Poor Darryn has run half way across town to get me some…he’s been gone for a while now and I'm starting to worry a little. Oh, here he is running back down the street with my baklava.

Darryn is so sweet. He got me baklava and I was happy because I was craving it. It's so good. It's just puff pastry, nuts and honey baked in the oven...but it's the most delicious thing ever. Anyway, we got back on the bus and headed towards Delphi, a delightfully small town with just two streets: the upper and the lower. Delphi is on top of a mountain, and our hotel was at the top of Delphi, so the view from our room is pretty spectacular. The hotel had a pool and a gym, but neither in very good working order, so we decided to skip that. Dinner was set, not a buffet like at the last hotels. This sounded promising at first, but sadly it left a lot to be desired. We had lemon chicken soup (good), eggplant with Bechamel sauce (great) veal with potatoes and salad (very bad) and panacotta (very, very bad). I was hoping that some baklava would appear, but alas, it did not. The hotel's internet (one computer in a corner with a chair) was supposed to be free, and, like all free things, it didn't work. So after dinner Darryn and I decided to head out and explore the town. Darryn finally found his photography feet and he took some great shots of the city lights and the view of the surrounding countryside. We walked into town where we found a reasonably priced Internet cafe and we caught up on emails. Then we walked the rest of the town (about two minutes) before heading back to the hotel.

Wednesday, June 11 - Delphi

2008-07-03T21:17:00.002-07:00

One week exactly since we left home. It feels like a month! The trip has been good so far, but Darryn has mentioned a couple of times that perhaps we should have waited. That we didn't have quite enough saved to go on this trip. Mum has said the same thing, but I didn't listen. I know they are right, but I'm still enjoying myself. And it’s obvious that Darryn is too. I wish we could continue like this forever, going from place to place. He's also getting quite creative, and he says he's got lots of great ideas for stories.

Today we headed off to the top of some mountain to see the site of the great Oracle of Delphi. We learned all about the myth of Apollo and his priestess, who would drink sulfur from a nearby volcano and begin hallucinating. The priests would have to interpret her crazy ramblings and finally deliver a very obscure answer to those who had traveled thousands of miles just to ask the Oracle one question. In any case, it didn't deter anyone, because they kept on coming. The poor priestesses would eventually die (drinking sulfur will do that) and be replaced by the next lucky 50-year-old woman. It took two hours to get through the site and then Darryn wanted to climb another fifty thousand or so metres to the top of the mountain to see some forgotten stadium. Anyway I made it, eventually. Then it was another hour of museum time, after which we finally went to lunch in a small and delicious cafe with the best view ever. They played the soundtrack from Life is Beautiful and we had salad, chips and eggplant and everyone was happy. I even nipped down the road to get some baklava, so I was even happier.

After a three-hour nap on our way to some monastery town, we got to our hotel which thankfully had a pool. We played around for a bit in the water and went down to dinner where we had another nice chat to the other Aussie couple, who told us all about their life. They got married young and then went on a two-year adventure around Australia, picking up work wherever they could - I thought this very romantic.

Thusday, June 12 - Kalambaka

2008-07-03T21:17:00.001-07:00

Last day of the land tour. This morning we visited two monasteries in Kalambaka, high up in the cliffs. These places were so remote and the atmosphere, except for the swarm of tourists, would have been serene and beautiful. Instead, it was just beautiful. We learned all about the Orthodox religion and the differences between it and Catholicism and saw lots of beautiful artworks painted on the walls of the monastery churches. The fact that most of them depicted the most violent scenes I've ever witnessed is just testament to one of the many faults of religion, but we'll save that discussion for another time.

After lunch it was time for a six hour drive back to Athens, which Darryn and I spent talking, listening to philosophy and music, playing charades and hating on the woman behind us who stretched out all over the back seat. We got back to Athens around quarter past six in the afternoon and we got all the details for the cruise the next day. A 6.15am wake up call left us in a bit of a sour mood, since we had intended to stay out late and go to bars and the like but we thought what the hell. We got ready and strolled through the town to the trendy area known as Psiri, which we had stumbled across on our first day. We had dinner at one of the restaurants, and then went to possibly the best sweets shop in the whole world. Darryn had a chocolate cake and I had baklava (shut up) and he proceeded to film my progress. It was a rather big piece. Athens at night was simply stunning, and the best part was not seeing any English tourists anywhere. The young people well and truly came out of hiding and the streets were full of friends and lovers. We walked around for a bit taking in the sights and then went back to the hotel for sleepage.

Friday, June 13 - Mykonos

2008-07-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

After a very hazy morning and quick breakfast we set off to the port of Piareus where we were greeted by our ship: a massive cruise liner called Aquamarine. Okay, massive is a bit of an exaggeration because it's actually one of the smaller cruise liners (it holds 1400 passengers) but it looked massive to us because we've never been on one before. Our cabin was pretty small but all the essentials were there (we had to pay extra for a port hole and we thought we could live without one for three days). We were greeted by an enthusiastic Greek called Dimitri who took us through the procedures. Basically, another tourist trap. The ship is full of American tourists, the entertainment is C-grade (a bunch of washed-up performers playing old folk songs and the like) and the food, well, I doubt it's anything special. We met up with a couple from our old land tour (everyone else was doing the seven day cruise) and they're quite nice. A brother and sister called Lyn and Willy from the Philippines, who are very sweet. Lyn is totally taken up with Darryn since she found out he's from the Philippines too and they've been very kind to us. All the crew onboard are also Filipino, and because Lyn speaks the language, she's been able to sus things out. Dimitri gave us the usual spiel about the optional excursions: that they're a must, they're fantastic, they're wonderful, great value for money and include a few trips to some 'authentic' pottery houses. Yeah, right. Darryn and I had a good chuckle at that. We've learned our lesson. Anyway the only excursion we were thinking of taking was the one in Turkey, since it is another country and probably not as safe as Europe. But after we heard Dimitri talk us through it we discovered we'd be paying $100 each for a one-hour tour of an archaeological site (i.e. more rocks). We then decided to go it alone, like on all the islands, and just hire a taxi for an hour or two to do a tour of the city and bazaar. Lyn and Willy were delighted with this idea and they asked the crew if it would be possible. The crew told Lyn there was nothing better than doing exactly what we'd planned, so we're quite happy with ourselves.

Before lunch Darryn and I visited the Sun Deck, where the pool, deckchairs and bar kept us happy for a few hours. Of course, it's not all great. We found out that drinks are actually not included in the price, so we basically have to drink water if we want to save money. I have no doubt the food they'll be serving will be stupid crap like hamburgers and fish and chips, but we'll see.

I was totally right about the food. We lunched in the restaurant (as opposed to the Bistro or Taverna), so presumably, it was the classiest place onboard to dine. We met up with Lyn and Willy and when I saw the menu I nearly fainted. Hamburgers, fish and chips, carrot soup, snitzel and hot chips. Great. I ate barely anything and when the boat got moving I started to feel a little sea sick, so Darryn and I went back to our cabin for an afternoon nap. We got up and got dressed and went ashore on Mykonos, a lovely and rather small island with a maze of very narrow streets. Dimitri took us on his 'tour of goodies', which lasted about twenty minutes, and then we had about two hours of free time to explore. I was really hungry and thirsty so we went to a small cafe to have some baklava and ice cream - with two beers - and then walked around the streets and took hundreds of photographs, including a few of the beautiful sunset. We also came across Mykonos's mascot, Pete the Pelican. Pete is a one metre-tall island pelican with pink feathers who got stranded here some years ago and the locals took to feeding him and parading him around as their mascot. Anyway he's really cute and he had a small procession of tourists following him around for some time, cameras at the ready. We got back onboard and went to dinner, where we weren't actually allowed to sit where we wanted. We got put on a table with two Canadians, one French couple (oldish) and one American couple (youngish), none of which spoke to one another during the whole meal. Darryn and I of course got the giggles pretty bad so we were sitting there talking crap and laughing while they were all looking on, thinking we were crazy. After dinner it was time for the Latin Fever night show (a bunch of crappy entertainers - including our drill sergeant for the boat drill earlier that afternoon - in feathers and glitter dancing to Spanish music), which neither of us enjoyed very much because we were feeling sick from the boat motion.

Saturday, June 14 - Rhodes

2008-07-03T21:13:00.000-07:00

Today we docked on the island of Rhodes, which was significantly larger than Mykonos. Darryn and I got local maps from the tour lady on the ship and set off adventuring. We walked the old town first and marveled at the architecture and then slowly made our way up to the local beach. We found a marina with local boats offering one-hour and half-day cruises and the like, and we thought why not, since we had until 7pm that night. We wanted to get to Lindos, which was apparently a great little town south of Rhodes. Unfortunately, all the cruises had already departed that morning, so we had to settle for a one-hour boat ride around some of the closer beaches. We were ready to jump onboard and pay our money when the mean Greek boat dude told us he was no longer doing one-hour rides but rather half-hour rides because there weren't enough people for the former. When the people on the boat awaiting departure heard our conversation they protested and said they too had wanted the one-hour ride but were told the same as us. Together we made six people, more than enough to set sail. But the Greek dude wouldn't give and I got the shits and we walked off.

We continued towards Elli beach, where we had to pay 4 euros each to use a frickin' beach umbrella and chair. Anyway, Darryn went in the water (alas, too cold for me) while I amused myself with the video camera. After a lazy nap in the sun we set off with the intention of finding a bus which could take us to Lindos, but instead found a really awesome old fortress and castle, partly deserted due to an archaeological dig still in process. We tried to climb rocks and trees and then amused ourselves with a game of hide and seek. Then we walked around the fortress and discovered a small opening that gave into the old castle itself. We got all Indiana Jones and climbed through, scraping our knees and what not, and took a walk around the dark, cob-webbed archways and overgrown courtyard. It was so fun. After exploring some more we went back to the new town with all the fancy shops and found ourselves an Internet cafe with great crepes (chocolate and banana and chocolate and strawberry) and checked our emails for an hour. Well, we did more than that. We got to reading some cool articles and in the end I ended up entering the New Yorker cartoon caption competition with Daniella's old address (because you had to be a US citizen to enter). It was quite hilarious (the idea, not my caption). After that we took off back to the ship for dinner and a cocktail party thrown by Trafalgar (which was, ahem, crap).

Dinner was arranged seating, which was pretty unfortunate. We got to sit with Lyn and Willy though so that was okay. It was Greek night so we had to eat Greek food. Trouble was it wasn't very Greek and the lamb I ordered tasted nothing like that night we dined in Athens's Psiri district. Anyway I felt a little sick and ordered a plate of potatoes. I was happy when dessert came around though, because being Greek night dessert was, of course, baklava and various assorted Greek delicacies. After dinner we went to the cocktail party, got our free cocktail, didn't drink it, and went back to our cabin.

Sunday, June 15 - Ephesus, Turkey

2008-07-03T21:11:00.000-07:00

It was an early start today because our crap ship docked at Patmos at like, 6am. After a quick breakfast we left the ship solo and it wasn't long before we were making our way to St John's grotto, laughing at the fools on the ship who had payed something like 50 euros for the same trip. We had a lovely uphill walk on a long road and soon we were on top of a mountain overlooking the whole island. St John's grotto was a tiny place, which has since been converted to a church. We stayed at the mass for a little while with the locals and then made our way back down to the ship.

After lunch we got ready for our trip to the Turkish port of Kusadasi. We were flying solo again so we were warned about the cab drivers, because our intention was to hire a cab for about an hour or two to take us to the archaeological site of Ephesus and back again. Lin and Willy came with us, as well as two French girls from the boat, and we ended up hiring this young guy with a big cab for 20 euros each. He took us to the house of the Virgin Mary first (Lin really wanted to see it) and then to Ephesus. The ruins of some once-great city, Ephesus was amazing. The most intact archaeological site we'd seen on this trip, and it was truly easy to imagine Romans and Turks meandering down the marble streets and through the heavy archways. The city was huge - it took us about an hour to walk through it. Most of the buildings (library, temples, houses, even brothels) were only half destroyed. The most magnificent was the two-storey, thirty-something column library, which resembled the temple from the final scenes of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

The cab driver turned out to be a pretty nice dude (even though he drove at like, 150km/hr) and he got us back to ship safely, with one hour of free time left. Darryn and I wanted to visit the beach, but halfway there Darryn noticed that the video camera was missing. I was the last one holding it so my heart skipped fifty thousand beats and I ran all the way back to the taxi rank. Luckily the can drivers were all very nice and helpful and we were soon reunited with our camera. After that we decided to give the beach a miss and just settled down at some restaurant with a glass of beer (and some baklava for me)

Back on the boat we tried our hand at a rather unsuccessful round of Cash Bingo before dinner and after that we decided to go to the casino and see if we'd have more luck there. We did, and we ended up with a profit of like 5 euros (double our initial offering, so all things considered it was a great win). Then we packed up and went to sleep, dreading the 5.45am wake up call at Athens the following day.

Monday, June 16 - Athens

2008-07-03T21:08:00.000-07:00

Last night was a nightmare. The hussies from across the hall kept playing loud rap music and shouting (after we went to bed) and then our Indian next door neighbours began testing out some snare drums they bought. Darryn had to get up and call reception and after fifteen minutes someone finally came down to check it out. The noise got lower but not completely and we both had a troubled sleep.

We woke up at 5am and had breakfast and cleared our room, and for what? It took the ship an extra hour and a half to dock and for all our passports to be checked, while we waited in the lounge like idiots. We finally got off the ship and were transported back to our Athens hotel. We had about three hours to waste before our bus to the airport so we walked around and did some shopping - Darryn bought a really cool bread knife set and I got a lip phone. Then we had ice cream and baklava and went back to the hotel to watch some TV on the laptop and wait for our transfers.

All clear at the airport - except for the lady at the security taking like half my stuff due to bogus regulations - and then on to Romania. Flight went through Sofia as well so it was delayed by about an hour but we finally got there and Bunu and Buna were waiting for us. They seem to take a liking to Darryn right away and he to them (which I was more worried about) and it was off home. It was great to see home again and we got settled in after a huge meal. Darryn loved Buna's cooking and that made everyone happy. We slept on that ridiculously uncomfortable and hot couch in the loungeroom but soon decided to split, with Darryn generously offering to take the floor (well, I may have told him to, but let's not dwell on minor details).

Tuesday, June 17

2008-07-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

I think Darryn is taking over...for now...

I hate it when...

2008-05-18T15:16:00.000-07:00

...you're the only person getting on the bus and the bus if full and everyone stares at you whilst you fumble in your bag for your change and let out a croaky 'hello' the the unenthused bus driver before beginning the dangerous WALK OF INBALANCE as the bus starts to move and sure enough you lose your balance and, as people look on, you career head-first into an old lady with drool sitting in the disabled seat.

Hello Mondays.

John Flanagan - Sydney Morning Herald, May 8, 2008

2008-05-11T19:13:00.000-07:00

The children's author John Flanagan was at Sydney Airport, trying to stop himself buying a doughnut, when he got the call from his agent, Rick Raftos.

Raftos told Flanagan a Hollywood studio wanted to buy the rights to his fantasy series Ranger's Apprentice and was prepared to pay big money. "He didn't have details at thatstage, so I didn't know just how glorious it was," Flanagan says. "But it looked good. I didn't get my hopes up too much - we'd had film offers before but I always felt compelled to hold out for the right one." When he returned to his home in Manly, Flanagan discovered that the studio, United Artists, was offering him a seven-figure deal and that Paul Haggis - the Oscar-winning writer and director of Crash and writer of Million Dollar Baby - would make the first movie. He was still in a state of mild shock when he got another phone call a week later, this time from Haggis. "I felt an instant connection," Flanagan says. "I knew he wouldn't lead my work astray and that he'd let me have as much control of the project as I wanted. The real clincher was that he wanted to get cracking on the script right away; he didn't just throw it into a drawer for later."

The movie deal is the latest chapter in the extraordinary storyof Will, a small and lively 15-year old boy who lives in a medieval castle in the mythical land of Araluen. The Ranger's Apprentice books originated 19 years ago when Flanagan made up a story to tell his son, Michael, in an attempt to boost the 12-year old's confidence. The first book was published four years ago and the series has now sold more than 700,000 copies worldwide, been translated into 17 languages and spent 11 weeks on The New York Times bestseller list for children's series. It is Random House's bestselling children's series, with the seventh book, Erak's Ransom, selling more than 10,000 copies in Australia since its release in November. Flanagan remains modest. "I've wanted to be an author for a really long time," he says. "I've always dreamed of making my living from telling stories, because it's what I love. I enjoy saying I'm an author when asked what I do. I love writing it on immigration forms when I fly overseas." Flanagan began to develop his young hero over five months. To engage Michael he filled the stories with subjects his son was passionate about, such as archery. "I even illustrated them for him - anything to get him to read!"

But it was not until the author began working from home that he realised the potential in the stories, which slowly became the first Ranger's Apprentice book.
"I wasn't getting my hopes up too much when my agent first approached Random House with the manuscript. Two weeks later she [Raftos's associate, Rachel Skinner] rang and said, 'John, are you sitting down?' The publishing house had offered to buy the first two books."

Despite the good news, Flanagan knew better than to give up his day job. At his first book signing, in 2004, he sat awkwardly at a card table in Manly's shopping district.
"I was waiting, in vain, for hours. Finally some guy came up to me, picked up the book, looked at me, shook his head, and dropped the book back on the table and left. I almost died."
But the books quickly picked up momentum, and his next book signing was more successful.
"A woman just burst into tears, thanking me for bringing her wayward son back to her by writing this book," Flanagan recalls. "I got pretty emotional, too, so we both sat there crying like idiots. You just feel fabulous when this stuff happens, when you think that all you did was set out to entertain.
"I get a lot of emails from kids telling me the same thing; the ones that are wonderful are the emails that are so badly spelt they're almost unreadable. That's the real icing on the cake."

A disadvantage of writing fantasy is that Flanagan has had to restrain himself from reading any, because one never knows when someone else's idea will interfere with one's own - as he discovered while reading the Harry Potter books. "I found the same two-boys/one-girl relationship that I had been planning for my books all along," he says. "So I just stopped reading. I didn't want to know where J.K. Rowling was taking her story, because I knew where I was taking mine."

The United Artists deal stipulates that Flanagan will have no creative control over the movies but his relationship with Haggis means he will still be involved.
"I know my baby is in good hands," Flanagan says. "I've spoken to Paul and I'm confident he's not going to screw it up too much. Besides, I know how this whole thing works in Hollywood. I know that the director doesn't want anything to do with the author. But I didn't want to lose Paul on the deal, because I trust him. I'm scared shitless, yeah, butI'm confident he's not going toring me up one day and propose the animals start talking or something similar. He didn't have to call me to talk to me about this stuff, but he did, and it's a good sign."
But sometimes scepticism rears its head; Flanagan is wary of computer-generated imagery. "I think the most crucial elements will be the casting and use of CGI. There's no need for that stuff because there are no big battle scenes. There aren't 10,000 Orcs charging to the centre of Middle-earth. I simply want this to be character-driven, with as few special effects as possible. And I hope nobody ever, ever shoots a bow horizontally!"

John Flanagan is writing the eighth book in the Ranger's Apprentice series and planning the ninth.

Fairy Cars

2008-05-09T00:50:00.001-07:00

Paris in Three

2008-05-07T14:21:00.000-07:00

New York in Three

2008-05-07T02:57:00.001-07:00

Love and Mortar - Interview with David Parker

2008-04-27T02:21:00.000-07:00

Australian film industry veteran David Parker admits he would never direct one of his own scripts. Why? Because he believes a director can bring more to a script than a writer can. And Parker would know – he’s been known to delve in screenwriting, directing and cinematography in his long career.
“Screenwriting is the hardest but probably the most rewarding [out of the three]. To think up a story and then write it into a fully fledged screenplay is the most demanding, wonderful and painful process, but when you pull it off, it’s magic,” Parker said.

Parker is back on the scene promoting his latest project, Love and Mortar, a film about a woman struggling with her son’s illness and her husband’s infidelity. After a chance encounter with an Irish sailor and his son, her life is turned upside down. The film explores a dramatic love story that promises to break all the rules. Parker made Love and Mortar with his Melbourne-based production company Cascade Films, which he started in 1983 with his business partner, Nadia Tass. Together the pair have written and directed a number of award-winning feature films, including Malcolm, Rikky & Pete, The Big Steal and the hilarious Hercules Returns.
“Hercules Returns was an absolute hoot. Des Mangan’s script was outrageous. The result is always funny, sometimes silly but always entertaining. That’s how I like my films, Parker said.
But Love and Mortar seems to break away from this formula. Based on a true story, the film has drama at its core rather than comedy. Yet Parker says there are still light moments, heightened by the journey of the characters.
“There’s definitely less comedy in there than I’m used to, but it’s similar [to my other work] because of its strong, well-developed characters, who are ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances.”

Parker has earned a name in the industry developing such characters. His first feature film, Malcolm, won eight AFI awards, numerous international awards and Parker was awarded the Premier’s Literary Award in NSW as well as the Australian Film Critic’s Circle Award for Best Screenplay. In 1991 Parker shot his first feature for Universal Studios in the US and the following year he produced and filmed Stark, the BBC mini-series based on the Ben Elton novel. He’s even worked for Francis Ford Coppola, who tracked him down and asked him to shoot a pilot his TV series The Outsiders. Yet despite all the jet-setting to and fro, Parker prefers to remain in Melbourne.
“We do spend time in the US, but we have always tried to keep our main focus on films that are Australian. We’ve recently done half a dozen high-end movies for TV in North America, but all the time we’ve been developing projects here, using our ill gotten gains from Uncle Sam to keep our Melbourne based operation running smoothly.”

Parker and Tass were approached with the Love and Mortar script by another producer, and optioned the script from the writer – Lyn Renew – whom the film is about. Despite its more sobering tone, Parker says he is still interested in making comedy.
“In fact, we have a comedy in development right now based on a wedding I went where the best man was let out of jail to attend. There were two beefy warders right beside him all night, but they both managed to get drunk and the best man had to drive them back to jail!”

Love and Mortar will be distributed nationally and internationally.

Al Alcorn, creator of Pong - The Guardian, Thursday April 17

2008-04-18T23:45:00.000-07:00

Darryn King and I recently interviewed Al Alcorn, the brains behind the arcade game that started it all.

Read it here.

Or here:

Allan Alcorn was just 24 when he designed the world's first popular videogame in 1972. Fresh out of college and working for the then unknown video company Atari - as its second employee - his first task as a junior engineer was just meant to test his skills. The result was Pong, an electronic table tennis game that paved the way for the modern videogame.

"Pong was such a simple game that anyone could play," Alcorn said. "At that time, coin-operated games were dominated by pinball machines that had sometimes lurid graphics or driving machines that required skills that appealed to young males. Pong was unusual in that it required two players. I think it was the first game that appealed to young ladies and thus was a more social game."

Instant hit

Atari had already marketed Computer Space, the world's first coin-operated videogame. Although a first in its category, the game did not thrive commercially because its instructions were so complicated. Atari's founder, Nolan Bushnell, realised that his company's next game had to be as simple as possible. "Since Pong was similar to the Magnavox Odyssey home game, I didn't expect it to be a big hit," says Alcorn.

Magnavox Odyssey was the first home videogame that hooked up to a consumer's TV set. It was designed by Ralph Baer and was marketed by Magnavox, an American television set manufacturer, in 1972 - the same year arcade Pong was introduced. The game used analog electronics and played a crude game similar to Pong, yet it was not a success in the market. It took Alcorn three months to design the first Pong prototype.

"Pong was a hard-wired machine that just played Pong. There was no computer involved," he says. "It is very difficult for anyone today, including engineers, to believe that something can be built without a computer. Microcomputers didn't impact videogames until 1974."

The original arcade Pong was made from simple digital logic chips and ran with a 14MHz clock. There was no microprocessor: they did not exist in 1972, so there is no surviving code for the original game. (The home version of Pong, introduced in 1974, had a custom chip designed by Atari.) Once completed, the prototype was tested in a small bar near Atari's offices in Santa Clara, San Francisco, the area now known as Silicon Valley.

The game's only instructions - "Deposit quarter" and "Avoid missing ball for high score" - reflected Bushnell's earlier wish to make the game as simple as possible. The following day, the bar's owner discovered a long line of people waiting outside his premises, quarters at the ready. Pong was a hit.

In many ways Pong's release ushered in the games industry. Alcorn says it took game developers more than a year to develop the skills needed to create their own videogames.

"Just about the time our competitors in the coin-operated business figured out how to create their own arcade videogames, we created a home business that threatened to take away players from the arcades. They were not happy with us."

Pong was a sensation for players because it successfully combined digital electronics with a TV display to create a new medium for gameplay. For the first time, people could control what they saw on their TV display. The experience was so engrossing that some believed the laws of physics were the same in the game as in real life. "Most people thought that you could 'spin' the ball in Pong, just as in real life," Alcorn says. They were mistaken. Alcorn had simply designed the "bats" so that if you hit the (square) ball near the edges, it would rebound at an angle.

Alcorn was put in charge of designing the home version of Pong. This version took things to a new level for the once-tiny video company, establishing Atari as the market leader in home videogames with a profit of $40m around 1977.

Like other prominent people in the computing industry of the 1970s, Alcorn saw no market for home computers - a belief that led Ken Olsen, co-founder of the then-mighty Digital Equipment Corporation, to remark in 1977: "There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home." Alcorn says: "I must confess that at first I saw no market for home computers. I couldn't see my wife interested in anything computers of that day could do. At the same time, I had no problem believing that people would play videogames at home, but I just never imagined that the market would be so large."

QuickTime and beyond

Alcorn left Atari in 1981, frustrated with management brought in by Warner Communications, which bought Atari in 1976. He joined Apple in January 1986 as a "Fellow" - one of his duties was to "change the industry". Alcorn did exactly that with his early work on MPEG (the Motion Picture Experts Group, who developed the eponymous algorithm) and QuickTime, and went on to start his own company, Silicon Gaming, in 1993. He then founded Integrated Media Measurement Incorporated and worked as chief technology officer, running the engineering wing which monitors broadcast sources to analyse the success of commercials.

Alcorn is now looking for something new to sink his teeth into. His most recent venture took him to Melbourne, Australia, where he attended the opening of Game On - the world's largest exhibition on the history of games and gaming. The exhibition was first launched at the Barbican Art Gallery in London in 2002.

"I enjoy talking about the early days of videogames and the fun we had," Alcorn says. "Perhaps I can inspire a young person to get involved in science and technology. Videogames are part of worldwide culture and as such we need to understand where it came from and where it is going. I hope that as a medium for entertainment it will add to the public good."

The industry has come a long way from a couple of paddles and a square ball, but not everything has changed. Modern gaming is just repackaging the same excitement and joy of play that drew crowds to Pong more than 35 years ago.

So can Alcorn see where videogames are headed? "Videogames have always been the technology leader for consumer electronics. Today's game platforms have more computer power than the largest computers from a decade ago," he says. "We have only begun to apply the advances in input and output technology to this business. I have some ideas. But I might want to develop them myself. So I will be coy about sharing them now."

Perhaps we'll only know when he's developed them when we see a line of people outside a bar, nursing their coins while they wait.

Laura Parker, Freelance Sub-editor

2008-04-16T16:56:00.000-07:00

Is your business suffering at the hands of those narky sub-editors that you're forced to pay weekly, even though they only do a few hours work? Fire their arses. You need the services of a freelance sub-editor, someone who can come in on short notice, starting from just one day a week during the quiet times to five days a week during deadline.

Laura Parker is now available to hire as a freelance sub-editor. That's right, you heard correct.
Laura will work for as little as $150 a day and offer her services in the areas of:

sub-editing
proofing
fact-checking
layout
intelligent discussions on art, music, science and philosophy

Are your bludgy subs are scratching their arses five days a week and taking your hard earned dollars from under your nose (some of them haven't even heard of InDesign)?
Fret no more. Professional and sweet, Laura can work from home or the office, and is a skilled user of Adobe InDesign on both Macs and PCs.

So call Laura Parker now.

This week's special: If you call within the next half an hour, Laura will slash her price to just $100 A DAY! That's madness! She's also throw in a free set of steak knives and a free copy of The Communist Manifesto!

Don't delay! Call today!

Graeme Murphy's Swan Lake

2008-04-13T01:47:00.000-07:00

The Australian Ballet
Playing at the Sydney Opera House until April 24, 2008.

I know what you’re thinking. Ballet, as far as contemporary entertainment goes, is reserved for snooty housewives and old ladies. Most of the time you’d be right, but every once in a while comes a ballet that jerks the common man from his place and makes him put on a tux. Graeme Murphy’s Swan Lake is such a ballet. Labeled an Australian classic by critics time and time again, Murphy’s take on the century-old favourite is simply breathless. With a completely reworked storyline and an innovative blend of classical and contemporary choreography, Swan Lake treats audiences to a first-hand parade of raw, primitive human emotions. The story deals with an ill-fated love triangle between a Prince, his young bride and his greedy lover; a story that is romantic in its nature, and modern in its depiction, complete with cold baths, crazy party girls, insanity, jealousy, love, and, of course, swans.

Murphy, a former dancer with The Australian Ballet, was first given the task of reworking Swan Lake in 2002 as the company’s new Artistic Director. A tough job for any choreographer, let alone one new to the craft, Murphy succeeded in creating an intelligent production that, as he claimed would be his aim, can capture an audience’s imagination without asking them to suspend belief.
“I always wanted to give The Australian Ballet a unique Swan Lake. Every company would love to have one, yet not many do,” Murphy said in an interview for The Australian Ballet.

A job well done, I say. Murphy based his version of the ballet (loosely) on the Princess Diana, Prince Charles, Camilla Parker-Bowles love triangle, and the devastation suffered by Diana when she realises her husband is in love with another woman. Kristian Fredrikson’s set and costume design is a perfect vehicle for Murphy’s vision – from the ingenuity of the all-white opening scene marking Odette’s innocence to the all-black final act to mark her descent into madness, the set is a mix of clean, minimalist lines and reserved opulence that do much to indicate the thorough thought that went into every aspect of this production. Similarly, Murphy’s dance choreography is flawless, using contemporary steps to reveal humour where needed and some of the most delightful and engaging pas de trios routines I’ve ever seen in a ballet.

Since its debut in 2002, Murphy’s Swan Lake has continued to delight audiences both here and overseas, and I have no doubt it will continue to do so for many years to come. This is truly an Australian effort we can be proud of.

R18+ Classification for Video Games

2008-04-06T17:41:00.000-07:00

The decision by censorship ministers to put the issue of the R18+ classification for video games to public consultation is a welcome one. It’s become increasingly clear that the only way the Australian Classification Board will approve the sale of R18+ video games is if this decision is placed in the hands of those who are going to be affected directly.

Australia remains the only country where R18+ rated games are banned from sale due to their excessive violent or sexual content. However, the idea that video games are harmful to minors because they condone or incite violence is an archaic one. Psychologists and experts are increasingly being ignored in this debate in favour of a group whose expertise is questionable – politicians. The chief offender in this case is South Australian Attorney-General, Michael Atkinson, who insists that R18+ video games should continue to be banned in Australia because they contain ‘harmful material’. Arguing this is Victorian Deputy Premier and Attorney-General Rob Hulls, who is pushing for an adults only classification for games citing an inconsistency in policy which allows adults access to other R18+ material but not video games. Yet Mr. Atkinson had an answer for this too: he believes video games pose a greater threat than other media because of their interactive nature. His claim: "The risk of interactivity on players of computer games with highly violent content is increased aggressive behaviour." Again, voices of experts have been drowned out in what has become one politician’s personal belief imposing on policy-making.

We saw the same narrow-minded point of view in November last year, when New Zealand manager of police youth services, Bill Harrison, remarked that youth violence rates in the Western world had risen sharply in the years previous to coincide with the rise of products such as Microsoft’s Xbox gaming platform. Mr. Harrison said he began to wonder about the effect of video game violence when he found his 14-year-old son playing a graphic Xbox game that involved "human beings killing each other". Of course, some might point out that the media is guilty of the same crime.
In 2006 Germany’s parliament proposed that cruelty on humans in video games should be a punishable offence for ‘promoting’ real life violence. The reason for this claim was a school shooting in the Netherlands, where one teenager wounded 37 people in before killing himself. Apparently, the killer was a fan of Counter Strike, a tactical war video game. One of the parliament bill’s sponsors, Bavarian interior minister Günther Beckstein, claimed that: "It is absolutely beyond any doubt that such killer games desensitise unstable characters and can have a stimulating effect.’’ Clearly, Mr. Beckstein’s opinion was good enough evidence on this matter.

But what does the real evidence suggest?

Indeed, no definitive research has yet come to light to support claims that violent video games gave any negative impact on behaviour. Research on media violence in general has also failed to prove that it’s even an influencing factor in violent behaviour, and it’s becoming more and more obvious that censorship of any entertainment material in an attempt to address violence in the real world is ineffective. Jonathan Freedman from the University of Toronto’s Department of Psychology published his findings on video game violence in 2001, Evaluating the Research on Violent Video Games, citing a number of conclusions that can be drawn from the limited amount of research in this area: firstly that evidence which points to an immediate correlation between aggression and violent video games is far from definitive; secondly that there exist no evidence to suggest that playing violent video games causes any long-term or lasting increase in aggressiveness or violence. Freedman concludes: "There is no such work and no scientific reason to believe that violent video games have bad effects on children or on adults, and certainly none to indicate that such games constitute a public health risk."
Chartered Psychologist and Director of the Communications Research Group in the UK, Dr Guy Cumberbatch, defended video games from media and political attack in his 2001 review of the research evidence, Video Violence: Villain or Victim?, where he claimed that: "The real puzzle is that anyone looking at the research evidence in this field could draw any conclusions about the pattern let alone argue with such confidence and even passion that it demonstrates the harm of violence on television, in film and in video games. If one conclusion is possible, it is that the jury is not still out."

With a survey of 1601 Australian households conducted by Bond University in 2005 suggesting 88 per cent of Australians support an R18+ classification for games, there is still hope that the public will do what the politicians have failed to – employ reason and logic to make a decision that above all affects Australians’ freedom of choice.

The Grand Tradition of High Tea

2008-04-03T17:16:00.000-07:00

Mention the words ‘high tea’ and most of us just picture snooty English people drinking tea with their pinkies up in the air, talking about their bad teeth or what not. But times have changed. The grand tradition of high tea is fast becoming the ‘it’ thing to try in Sydney, thanks to the promise of soft crust-less sandwiches, fancy cakes and pastries, Scottish scones with jam and cream, champagne, and, of course, tea. And there’s hardly a pinkie-lifting Englishman in sight.

So, with this in mind, my boyfriend and I decided we'd give it a go. Just to see what all the fuss was about. Plus, I've been dying to eat something off those silver cake tiers ever since I saw the Queen do it on TV. Before we ventured in however, I did some research on the topic, just so I knew what I was getting myself into. Here's the lowdown on the whole high tea thing:

The high tea tradition began around the 17^th century, where, prior to, the English served just two main meals per day – breakfast and dinner. It was Anna, the seventh Duchess of Bedford, who first invited her friends to join her for an afternoon meal of bread and butter sandwiches, small cakes and tea. The tradition was later made popular by Queen Victoria, who, quite rightly, saw fit to throw more delicious things into the mix.

And how delicious they were... We stuffed ourselves silly with egg and cucumber sandwiches, salmon and cheese, spinach pastries, mini cakes and meringues and some truly yummy scones with jam and fresh cream. Of course, we didn't leave out the main thing: tea. We got some connoisseur choices brought in from India (whose names I won't even try to spell) and drank to our heart's content. I was surprised to notice my pinkie trying to escape and raise itself high above my other fingers, but I soon put a stop to that by putting on my most bogan accent and asking my boyfriend if we'd even consider returning as bogans one day, just to see how quickly we'd get the boot.

Alas, we behaved ourselves and got through the entire thing like royalty. Not surprising, we were about twenty years younger than everyone else there, even given the largely affordable prices. But then again that's not saying much when it comes to me and cake -- there is no telling how far I'd go for a good piece of crumbly goodness with icing.

Here are some photos to whet your appetite:

The Smashing Pumpkins live at Hordern Pavilion, March 27

2008-03-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

It's always a little sad when a band one has loved since one's teenage years undoes seven or so years' worth of magic in one night. But to be fair, the band I saw last night wasn't the Smashing Pumpkins. It was Billy Corgan singing Smashing Pumpkins songs. And it wasn't even good.

The show began half an hour before its scheduled time, resulting in around 80% of late-comers, including ourselves. We ran inside just as Tonight, Tonight was wrapping up, only to learn the three songs we'd missed were from the band's latest album, Zeitgeist. Phew.

But I'm not going to do a review. The show doesn't deserve one. This is all I'm going to say: they played too many new songs, not enough good ones, they completely fucked up Bullet With Butterfly Wings by playing it three times too fast, and, on top of all that, they had the audacity to do that trendy half-an-hour-of-ambient-noise bullshit which seems to be the go with bands these days. If I want to listen to ambient noise I'll go to a Tool concert. At least they have the courtesy of walking off stage for twenty minutes so you know you can relax and take a piss or whatever. But here was Billy Corgan, last seen on these shores when I was still learning my times-tables, and he's got the nerve to keep everyone waiting while he shows us he can use an effects pedal.

Why don't these bands learn to quit while they're on top? It's a question that's puzzled me for years. In any case, next time I put on a Pumpkins album I'll make sure to erase the memory of last night for fear of polluting my experience. I suggest you do the same.

Being a freelance journalist is…

2008-03-27T01:03:00.000-07:00

Easy: I wake up when I want and work in my underwear. I am my own boss instead of slaving away at a computer for eight hours with an assigned lunch-break and air conditioning that gives me pneumonia.

Hard: This morning and I had zero emails. What does this mean? Telstra won’t be getting their money for my phone bill, and I’ll have to eat canned soup for another week.

Interesting: One day I write about wedding speeches; the next day about video games. There’s no limit on who I can write for. But the best part of it all? I get to generate my own ideas. If I feel like writing about rising teenage pregnancy rates for a national daily then I can, and if I feel like writing a children’s fiction book i can do that too – all in the one day.

Mundane: Spending two months writing a 7000-word feature article on the differences between high-definition DVD players can get a little tedious, especially after the tenth or so interview.

Fun: I get to meet lots of different people every day, in very nice locations (like five-star hotels). I get to listen to them talk about all sorts of interesting things, from music and film festivals, to aerodynamics and robotic intelligence. I learn something new every day.

Serious: Sometimes I have three deadlines in one day, at different times. Sometimes I have three deadlines in one hour.

Rewarding: Working for lots of different publications means a fluctuating, but overall better, income than a desk journalist - especially when you get paid in British Pounds, Euros or US Dollars. Planning yearly holidays to the Greek Islands is finally a dream I can afford.

Stingy: Not having a regular income means tough times before the good times. Hassling editors for your paycheck is a weekly activity, as is checking your bank balance, in the hope that the commission you submitted over two months ago has finally arrived. There’s also that unpleasant time that’s known as TAX TIME. But let’s not dwell on negatives.

Freedom: Freedom of expression, freedom of diversity, and freedom of ideas. There is no better way for a writer to live life (except maybe as a travel writer, but more on that next week.)

Lonely Planet Bluelist - Seven ways to feel at home in Italy

2008-03-25T19:47:00.001-07:00

1. Embrace God.

Italy and Church go together like fat people and heart disease, so watch out. Those shifty Renaissance priests knew that aestheticism is a powerful converting mechanism, even if you decided long ago that you’re sitting on the fence on the whole creationism thing. A word of caution: if you’re going to risk religion, make sure you’re dressed like your grandmother otherwise they won’t let you in.

2. Become addicted to smoking.

Cigarettes are appetite suppressants so if you begin chain-smoking it means you’ll only need to eat once a day. This is necessary in cities like Naples, Milan and Pisa where your average meal costs as much as the plane ticket that got you there. And once you’ve realised that you’ve spent your last few Euros on a shiny poster of Michelangelo’s David from that African kid with no teeth, all you can manage is a squashed panini in the poor quarter. Hmm.

3. Lose your inhibitions (about garbage).

At first glance, Rome looks a charm. But the garbage hasn’t been picked up since 1975. The locals have learned to live with it and even embrace it, so don’t look like a pretentious ass by not joining in. Just remember that proverb about ‘when in Rome...’. It’s also a good place to practice that other proverb about swinging a cat. Plenty of those around too.

4. Take up adrenalin sports.

This is to ensure a placid disposition when your friendly Florentine bus-driver decides to practice his Need for Speed moves on the busy night-time roads. There are some traffic cops in Florence, but they are on no account paying attention to the traffic. All driving is conducted at top speed, and much of it is on the sidewalks since most parking seems to be done in the middle of the streets.

5. Inherit a large fortune.

Cities like Venice are only good without the cumbersome worries of assets to think about. Gondoliers don’t bargain, regardless of how many times you’ve been to Asia, so either be rich or don’t eat anything for two days prior. Money is also helpful in buying cheap trinkets and offering them as a bribe to the large American family at the front of the queues so they’ll let you in front.

6. Learn the lingo.

This is to inconspicuously separate yourself from the large group of inebriated Contiki kids that you’ll bump into every four hours in every major city. You need to get as far away from these untoward people as possible, before one of them recognises your un-Italian-like features and starts trying to talk to you. Also, avoid 'discotheques'. This is Italian slang for 'tourist clubs', which usually consist of Vodka shots and the Grease soundtrack on repeat. If you want to experience authentic Italian nightlife, just do what they do: hire a Moped and hoon around town, yelling at the occasional passer-by.

7. Become a boozehound.

Italians may look sober, but they’re not. If you end up somewhere like San Marino you'll understand why Limoncello is the drink of the nation. Being drunk in San Marino is not an inchoate tradition – they’ve been doing it for centuries. A tip for the first-timers: do it in the motel or bus. Meandering drunk down the 75-degree inclines of San Marino augurs all kinds of trouble, like grabbing hold of tiny old women to keep from falling over and hugging trees because you’ve mistaken them for fat, cuddly people.

A piece on Australian author John Flanagan

2008-03-25T00:32:00.000-07:00

Will is a small, lively boy of 15 who enjoys archery. He has friends in sixteen countries, has appeared in the New York Times for eleven weeks in a row and is just about to star in his own Hollywood film. It's just too bad he's not really real.

Will is the creation of John Flanagan, the bestselling Australian children's author who has just struck a seven figure deal with United Artists Films to turn his fantasy Ranger’s Apprentice series into Hollywood blockbusters. But despite the hubbub, Flanagan remains modest.

“I’ve wanted to be an author for a really long time. I’ve always dreamed of making my living from telling stories, because it’s what I love,” Flanagan says. “I love the fact that I can say I'm an author when asked what I do. I even love writing it on immigration forms when I fly overseas.”

We're sitting in Flanagan's living room in Manly, on a deliciously stormy Friday afternoon – the perfect time for talking about books.

“I’ve had books rejected by publishers before, and I know what it’s like to hold your breath waiting for something to happen. One day things are magical; the next they’re in tatters. You can’t let things like this go to your head,” he says of the film deal. “Although I did take my wife shopping the second we were told the news.” Flanagan wants to stop right there for a moment. He directs me into the study so I may see his writing cabin, a small wooden construct perched on a second level of his backyard.

“I decided I needed my own shack, somewhere where I could drown myself in the world I’ve created. It’s where all my characters come to life.”

The Ranger’s Apprentice books began as something of a flight of fancy for Flanagan.

Nineteen years ago Flanagan’s son Michael was a little lacking in confidence, and the aspiring author felt the only way he could help his twelve-year-old son was by telling him a story. The story was about a boy just like Michael, shy and timid, but also brave and quick-witted. This turned into the story of Will – the character that’s earned Flanagan the reverence of teenagers worldwide.

Over a period of five months Flanagan wrote a new story for Michael every week. First there was Will, the agile hero of the books, then Will's mentor, Halt, and finally Horace, Will's best friend. Flanagan set the action of the stories in the Kingdom of Araluen, where Will is apprenticed to the Ranger Corps – a musketeer-like group who act as the King's eyes and ears.

“I wanted to base the central character on Michael, and write about the things he was interested in, like archery,” Flanagan says. “I even illustrated them for him – anything to get him to read! Then I got involved in a TV show and put the stories aside. Every now and then I'd take them out and fiddle with them."

Flanagan began life in advertising, switching to a brief stint filling is as a creative director and then making the move to television, where he worked for eight years as a writer on the Australian sitcom Hey Dad! While his days were busy in the corporate world, Flanagan filled his spare time by writing manuscripts, mostly adult thrillers, and indulging in his second passion of making music. This took precedence when he began working from home writing corporate jingles, and it was during this time at home with his kids when Flanagan finally decided to do something about Michael’s stories. The development of the original 20 short stories into a series of books took place over a number of years - most of the stories were incorporated as chronicles in the first Ranger's Apprentice book.

"Having had books rejected before, I wasn't getting my hopes up too much when my agent Rachel Skinner first approached Random House with the Ranger's Apprentice manuscript. We had decided to make it [the manuscript] a little more presentable, so we put the synopsis on a glossy page with a picture of an archer; it was a brochure. Two weeks later I was out in Dee Why buying something for my guitar when Rachel rang. She said to me ‘John, are you sitting down?’” Flanagan laughs. “This was a phrase that she began using every time there was big news to break. So I went outside the shop, sat down, and she told me that Random House had offered to buy the first two books."

But Flanagan knew better than to give up his day job just yet. His first book signing, after the first Ranger’s Apprentice book was published in 2004, did not quite go to plan. Flanagan sat awkwardly at a card table in Manly’s shopping district, waiting for someone to show up.

“I was waiting, in vain, for hours. I was waiting for someone. Anyone. Finally some guy came up to me, picked up the book, looked at me, shook his head, and dropped the book back on the table and left. I almost died.”

Luckily for Flanagan – and Will – it was a one-time hiccup. The years that followed produced an English agent for the Ranger's Apprentice series, followed by a US agent. The books began to be translated into different languages and to date, sales have exceeded 700, 000 copies in sixteen countries. In 2006 the first three books spent eleven weeks on the New York Times bestseller list for children's series, coming in third place. The seventh installment, Erak's Ransom, was released in Australia in November last year and has already sold over 10, 000 copies. The seven books are currently Random House's best selling children's series. And all this fuss over a shy, bumbling, orphan.

“The thing about these books is they're fast-paced. They're exciting and adventurous and have very likeable characters that the reader can identify with,” Flanagan says.

“I love the fact that the Ranger's Apprentice books bring in reluctant readers. This woman came up to me at a book signing in Bundaberg and burst into tears, thanking me for bringing her wayward son back to her by writing this book. I got pretty emotional too, so we both sat there crying like idiots. You just feel fabulous when this stuff happens, when you think that all you did was set out to entertain. I get a lot of emails from kids telling me the same thing; the ones that are wonderful are the e-mails that are so badly spelt they're almost unreadable. And that's the real icing on the cake.”

Late November last year Flanagan received a phone call from his US agent, Rick, who told him that a Hollywood director was interested in buying the rights to the Ranger's Apprentice books.

"Haggis? I said. Who's Haggis?" Flanagan remembers, laughing. “I had no idea who Paul Haggis was.”

Paul Haggis, the Academy Award-winning director of Crash and screenplay writer for movies like Million Dollar Baby and Letters from Iwo Jima, had shown interest in directing the movie adaptations of the Ranger’s Apprentice books.

“The studio sent through his CV and after a quick Google search I knew all about him. I was blown away by all the stuff he’s done, especially one of his earlier series, Due South, which I absolutely love.”

Flanagan’s guess is that any book which spends longer than a week on the New York Times bestseller's list will get the attention of a Hollywood producer. He was having his coffee one Saturday morning when he got a call from Haggis himself.

"He told me he loved the books. He'd read them to his nine-year-old son, and he would be working on the screenplay with his daughter, who has written some television and was also a big fan of children's fantasy."

A couple of weeks later United Artists Films signed the deal, at the same time making it quite clear that Flanagan was to have absolutely no creative control. So how does a writer feel about putting all his hard work into the hands of a complete stranger?

“I know my baby is in good hands,” Flanagan jokes. “I’ve spoken to Paul and I’m confident he’s not going to screw it up too much. Besides, I know how this whole thing works in Hollywood. I know that the director doesn't want anything to do with the author. But I didn't want to lose Paul on the deal because I trust him. I’m scared shitless yeah, but I'm confident he's not going to ring me up one day and say, ‘Hey John, how about if Will talks to the animals in the forest?’ He didn't have to call me to talk to me about this stuff, but he did, and it's a good sign.”

Being an author means discipline. Flanagan’s routine is simple: after waking up and drinking his coffee, he marches up to his backyard writing cabin at 10am and doesn’t come out until he’s finished one chapter, which usually takes him around three hours. This routine continues five days a week, leaving afternoons free for day-to-day activities, or what Flanagan calls his 'thinking time'.

“I've always written in the morning, I don't know why. I tend to think about things in the afternoon and let them wash through my mind and I know if I do my writing in the morning I'll do it quicker and better.”

“I toy with an idea for a few months before I actually sit down to write anything. By now I've fallen well and truly in love with the Ranger's Apprentice characters so I automatically know where they're going and what they're going to do,” he says.

From then on the writing process begins; from rough notes to a story board written on post-it notes for easy manoeuvring, the process is methodical and efficient. Next: the big events – the highs, the lows of the plot and the setting of each book.

"Sometimes the settings come to me from obscure places, an Irish countryside or a drowned forest in Victoria. What great places these are for battles! I also draw upon historical things that interest me, such as the Mongols. Most readers are quick to see that the world my characters live in is very similar to England, Europe and Scandinavia during the Middle Ages.”

But sometimes readers forget it’s all a little bit of make-believe.

“It’s true that my characters often show traits and behaviours that may appear to be anachronisms. For example, a few of them are addicted to coffee. This is because I am too and I sympathise with them when they wake up in a cold camp with no fire. I once got this email from a very angry lady who told me that they didn't drink coffee in medieval times – they drank herbal tea! Can you imagine? A bunch of warriors drinking herbal tea? I don't think so. I wanted to be able to invent my own history, and not be hidebound by real events and political alliances. I opted for a fantasy world, based on the one we know. That's the best part about writing fantasy.”

The not-so-great part about writing fantasy is that Flanagan has had to restrain himself from reading any. The reason for this is simple enough: you never know when someone else’s idea is going to interfere with your own, and authors like Flanagan have to be careful about reading anything even remotely similar to what they are writing. The copyright laws are very strict, and consequently very damaging. Not to mention the realisation that you have to retire your vision due to someone else doing something similar.

Flanagan says this happened to him while he was reading the first Harry Potter book.

“I discovered the same two boys/one girl relationship that I had been planning for my books all along," he says, eyebrows furrowing. “So I just stopped reading, then and there. I didn't want to know where she [JK Rowling] was taking her story, because I knew exactly where I was taking mine.”

The same problem occurs when a fan of Flanagan’s sends him fan fiction – stories about the characters and settings written by fans of the original work.

“I'm actually quite scared of it you know, because ideas can pop up from weird places and you just never know. Kids love it [fan fiction] but I can't afford to encourage it because what it is, let's face it, is infringement of copyright.”

Flanagan relates a story about JK Rowling, something he's presumably heard on the author's grapevine.

"A woman came up to JK Rowling at a book signing and handed her an envelope. When JK put out her hand to take it, one of her minders quickly snatched it away. At the end of the session JK naturally asked what all the fuss was about and she was told, in the most severe manner, that the envelope probably contained a story, and there was no way in the world that her should go anywhere near this envelope. Because if at any time JK writes a story similar to the one handed to her by that woman… well, you can imagine the consequences. She could be sued for millions."

I look stunned.

"Believe, me it's happened," Flanagan replies.

Flanagan is a family man. He admits he has always looked towards those closes to him for inspiration, guidance and, most of all, motivation. Flanagan’s son Michael, who is now 31 and lives in Japan with his wife, still refers to himself jokingly as 'The Original Will'. Flanagan’s wife, Leonie, has also been of help to her husband, giving him ideas from time and time and guidance when he needs it. But there is a pact: Leonie cannot read anything her husband has written until it has been published. Flanagan's creative streak seems to have well and truly been passed on to his two daughters: the eldest, Kitty Flanagan, is best known to Australian audiences for her stand-up comedy and role on sketch comedy programme Full Frontal, while the youngest, Penny Flanagan, is a singer/songwriter and a one-time author herself. In fact, Penny had her book published before her father did.

“This was much needed motivation for me,” Flanagan laughs, showing me some family photos. “I thought gee, if Penny can do it, then I should be able to! It’s great how we’ve always managed to push each other on like that and applied just the right amount of scepticism to each other’s work.”

And speaking of scepticism, just what does Flanagan think about the proposed film version of Ranger’s Apprentice?

“There are concerns, you know. I think the most crucial elements will be the casting and use of CGI. There's no need for that stuff. There are no big battle scenes, the armies aren't big. There aren't ten thousand Orcs charging to the centre of Middle Earth. I want this to be character-driven with as few special effects as possible. I'm glad Paul is directing because he's Canadian so there’s no chance of him misinterpreting the great Australian sense of irony,” Flanagan says. Oh, and one more thing…

“I hope nobody ever, ever, shoots a bow horizontally!”

John Flanagan is currently writing book eight of the Ranger’s Apprentice series and has already planned book number nine.

How toddlers can help us to build more human robots (published Thursday, February 14 in The Guardian)

2008-03-25T00:28:00.000-07:00

Move over, laptops. It's robots that have been tipped as the next-generation classroom aide. The first long-term interactive study investigating the potential use of robots on early childhood education has produced some surprising results.

Led by Javier Movellan from the University of California's Institute for Neural Computation in San Diego, the study tested four robots by introducing them into a classrooms of toddlers aged between 18 months and two years.

In one of the experiments, a 2ft robot was programmed to walk around the room, using its sensors to navigate, as well as react to the toddlers by sitting down, giggling when it was touched and lying down when its batteries faded. Once the toddlers had familiarised themselves with the robot, they began to treat it with care and attention - hugging it, helping it up when it fell down and covering it with a blanket when its batteries ran out. Movellan says this is an encouraging reaction.

In a class of its own

"The children don't seem to have a problem adjusting to the capabilities of the robot very quickly, learning what it can and cannot do, and acting accordingly," Movellan says. "Overall we are finding that the children treat the robots as social beings, but somewhat special. They don't treat them as toys, but they also don't treat them as if they were humans."

But how do the robots compare with pets? The analogy is a decidedly good one - both robots and pets are, in the eyes of a toddler, a special creature whose properties are not known ahead of time, and only by interacting with it can these be found out. Movellan and his team did not compare the toddlers' behaviour towards pets to their behaviour towards the robots due to the complex operational properties that any robots intended for use in the classroom would have.

"I think the message is that children this age very quickly figured out the operational properties of the robot and adjusted accordingly. As such the robot was a class on its own - neither a toy, nor a pet, nor a peer, but something in between. The interesting thing of course is that the robot was not 'alive' in the standard sense of the word, yet it was treated as a live being, raising the interesting scientific question of what it means to be alive and how do we recognise that something is alive."

Measuring the interaction between the robots and the toddlers proved a difficult challenge for the research team. After a few unsuccessful attempts, the team settled on two approaches: the first entailed multiple people assessing in real time the quality of the observed interaction using a computer joystick; the second was simply counting target behaviours such as how many times the toddlers touched the robots, and where they touched them. The team then watched videos of the various interactions throughout the study and concluded that the toddlers responded better to the robots over several months.

"The toddlers' reactions have been a constant source of information, and surprise to us, particularly during the first years of the project," Movellan says. "One thing that became apparent to us was the importance of timing. When you get the timing right, magic happens. When you get it wrong, it disappears. Simply moving the robot's head too slow or too fast can make a difference on the appearance or disappearance of social behaviours towards the robot. We are working on robots that can automatically detect the different moods the classroom goes through and adjust their behaviour accordingly."

Movellan says the results of the study prove that technology is very close to producing robots that can interact with humans in a social manner. "Rapid progress is possible but we need to think differently than the way traditional AI and industrial robotics used to think."

Using toddlers in the study instead of older children was a strategic move - the team felt that interaction with toddlers would help them focus on the affective aspects of the interaction while avoiding speech. With speech recognition technology not yet ready to be used in a noisy classroom, toddlers proved to be a perfect solution because they use speech sparsely yet they can still achieve meaningful forms of social interaction.

"Toddlers are a very good model for the robots we want to develop. They're very good critics, and by choosing to interact or not interact with the robots they let us know exactly whether or not we are making progress."

Scientific motivation

By carrying out this study, Movellan and his team have proved it possible to use robots as teaching aides. The aim of the study was to develop systems that could assist teachers in a personal manner. Movellan says the main scientific motivation was to understand what it takes to develop robots that can interact with people.

"The social benefits of using robots to interact with toddlers are numerous. I like to think of robots as intelligent toys that can help enrich the life of children, both from a cognitive point of view as well as a personal one," Movellan says.

"The interaction we observed between the children and the robots definitely had a very positive effect in the classroom atmosphere and the overall sense of happiness of the children."

But Movellan is careful to point out that robots can never be a substitute for human interaction. "It's true that we can say the same thing about pets and toys. Personally, I like the physicality that robots bring when compared to videogames and television."

Movellan and his team are now focusing on experiments that they hope will prove that robots will make effective teaching tools. They will continue bringing robots to schools and refining them to improve their social intelligence. The team is also planning to build an infant robot to approximate the complexity of human infants.

"Our goal with this is to reverse engineer the developmental process infants go through during the first year of life. We want to figure out how it is that they seamlessly solve problems that elude the most sophisticated AI programs," he says.

Peer-to-peer network invites drivers to get connected (published Thursday, January 17, 2008 in The Guardian)

2008-03-25T00:24:00.000-07:00

The name BitTorrent has become part of most people's day-to-day vernacular, synonymous with downloading every kind of content via the internet's peer-to-peer networks. But if a team of US researchers have their way, we may all be talking about CarTorrent in the not too distant future.

Researchers from the University of California Los Angeles are working on a wireless communication network that will allow cars to talk to each other, simultaneously downloading information in the shape of road safety warnings, entertainment content and navigational tools.

The UCLA Engineering's Network Research Lab team, led by Mario Gerla and Giovanni Pau, hit upon the idea in 2004, when peer-to-peer networking took off fuelled by applications such as BitTorrent. "We had the idea from BitTorrent, and decided to extend BitTorrent to cars under the name of CarTorrent. One of our dreams had always been to apply the technology to civilian applications," says Gerla. "Imagine you're driving to a beach resort and want to find out what the best beaches are. You could stop at a gas station and download several video clips from an internet access point, but that's not very convenient."

Wireless at the wheel

Gerla and his team instead propose to connect cars to one another using the wireless networking platform they're developing, which could be up and running by as early as 2012.

The wireless network would allow moving vehicles within 100 metres and 300 metres of each other to connect and create a network with a wide range. The network would then allow drivers to download information from internet access points simply by driving by, and then share that information with other cars on the road.

Gerla says the benefits of such a network are numerous: "There will be immediate benefits in driving safety as well as in content distribution. Car-to-car communications can be used to avoid accidents by alerting the drivers of imminent danger. To prevent a crash we must act in fractions of a second. We are currently collaborating with vehicle manufacturers to help reduce accidents and fatalities on the road. For this latter application, vehicles are equipped with sensing devices, such as radars and video cameras."

The network uses standard radio protocols such as Digital Short Range Communication, or DSRC, combined with wireless LAN technology at 5.9GHz (not Wi-Fi's 2.4GHz) to create networks between vehicles equipped with onboard sensing devices. These devices can gather safety-related information as well as other complex multimedia data.

By far the most essential aspect of this network, though, is that it is not subject to memory, processing, storage and energy limitations like traditional sensor networks. Instead, it relies on the resources of the vehicle itself, along with those vehicles around it.

Under the scheme, cars would be able to use their onboard radios to exchange three categories of information: safe navigation (such as reporting on icy road conditions, traffic jams and possible collisions ahead), content distribution (locally relevant information, advertisements and videos of upcoming attractions) and urban surveillance (collecting information which could be used later by police for forensic investigations).

Gerla and his team are already collaborating with car manufacturers such as Toyota and BMW on bringing the project to life. However, costs and industry standards are the more important hurdles that this network will have to jump before it can become feasible. Gerla says the network can be slowly implemented, just as GPS navigation systems and Wi-Fi-style radios have slowly started to become standard equipment.

"What will turn the tide will be the approval and widespread adoption of the emerging standards for car-to-car communications sponsored by the IEEE 802.11p Working Committee of the IEEE [the professional association for the advancement of technology]," says Gerla.

"A few years ago, leading car manufacturers decided to join forces with national government agencies in the Vehicle Information Infrastructure Consortium, which works closely with the IEEE 802.11p Committee, to develop communications architecture to help drivers anticipate hazardous events or avoid bad traffic areas."

However, Gerla says the network is not without faults: "The two most critical aspects that could go wrong if the network is implemented are location privacy, because drivers do not want others to know where they are; and attacks where a driver could maliciously inject wrong traffic congestion information to persuade other drivers to get out of its way."

Defensive drivers

With costs currently estimated at around $500 (£255) per car for the implementation of the equipment required to connect to the network, drivers probably won't be clamouring to get the kit.

"Most likely, there will be at least initially two types of drivers," Gerla says. "The drivers enamoured with high-tech features will immediately embrace this technology. But it's true that less aggressive drivers, probably a sizeable fraction of the population, will be reluctant to embrace the technology at first."

That, of course, could present a problem for the growth of CarTorrent: for as anyone who has tried using BitTorrent will know, there's no point in being the only person on a peer-to-peer network. Being the first car to use CarTorrent will be an expensive and pointless exercise. But like a telephone - and the internet - it's the sort of technology whose benefits will multiply rapidly as long as more people use it.

Rufus Wainright live at Sydney's State Theatre

2008-03-25T00:18:00.001-07:00